Quit Hating On Flat-Billed Hats

Sometimes you gotta take a stand for what’s right. Even if it is just hats.


Alright, listen. Sports news is dead right now. There’s absolutely nothing to talk about, and I need to make one thing clear: I’m not struggling to create content. You may look at the title of this very post and think otherwise, but don’t be fooled. I could sit here and invent content for you guys, but I won’t. Every hack analyst is digging deep for anything to write about. Everything on NFL dot com is basically just a repeated form of “Adam Rank’s Mt. Rushmore of QBs” and I’m not having it. Garbage content isn’t content. So let’s talk about hats.

I’ve noticed a lot of old dudes on Twitter ranting against flat-billed hats lately. It’s so strange because it’s not like those are the only hats available. Even so, I just don’t understand the obsession with having a curved bill. I’ve literally seen people wearing hats that look like taco shells. It’s getting out of hand if you ask me. Have you ever seen a hat bill with a crease in it? It’s repulsive. Your hat shouldn’t look like a paperback book. You shouldn’t be able to open your hat to chapter 12.

Wear your dumb taco hats and leave me alone. Flat bills aren’t hurting anyone. In my opinion you’re just proving how old and out of touch you are by hating them. I challenge -yes, challenge- anyone to give me a valid reason why they think no one should wear a flat-billed hat. I’ll wait.

Here’s a few other things I’ve been thinking about:

  • I saw a kid -in Michigan- wearing an OKC Thunder T-shirt. Kevin Durant to the Pistons? I wouldn’t rule it out.
  • Here’s my Mt Rushmore of AFL quarterbacks: Kurt Warner, Jay Gruden, Nick Davila. That’s it. They don’t get a fourth one.
  • If I sell my Chauncey Billups jersey am I a fake basketball fan?
  • Anyone wanna buy a Chauncey Billups jersey?
  • Cherry blue Gatorade tastes like kool aid. Lame.
  • #tealizard

Alright, that’s all I got.

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