Blue Jays express concern over Rougned Odor’s new battle-axe bat

Oct 6, 2016 · 2 min read

ARLINGTON, TX — The Blue Jays organization has formally expressed concern with Major League Baseball commissioner Rob Manfred after Texas Rangers second baseman Rougned Odor was seen taking batting practice before the start of the teams’ playoff series with a battle axe.

“I think it goes without saying that Rougned has a history of violence against our team,” said Blue Jays manager John Gibbons. “So, yeah, when we saw him out on the field hit line drives with a medieval weapon that can take your head off with one swing, some alarm bells went off.”

But the Rangers say Odor’s bat is legal because it is a “baseball bat first, battle axe second,” said manager Jeff Bannister. “It’s not a battle axe. It’s the same bat Roughie uses every game, it just has a razor-sharp, double-sided axe blade affixed to the top now. Look at it like a weighted doughnut that everyone uses in the on-deck circle. Nothing to be concerned about.”

Despite Bannister’s denial, Blue Jays players say Odor repeatedly shook the supposed baseball bat in the direction of Jose Bautista, yelling: “I’m going to chop your head off with this battle axe disguised as a baseball bat!”

“Seems pretty cut and dry to me,” said Bautista. “He wants to kill me.”

Odor claims he was just joking, however.

“It’s like people can’t handle trash talk anymore,” he said. “This is the playoffs. It’s intense. You can’t hold anything back. If anyone even looks at you the wrong way, you split their head in half with an axe and bite off their nose and spit it at their teammates. It’s the playoffs.”


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