Broncos still going with cruel prank on talentless dork about letting him start at QB
DENVER — The Denver Broncos have earned the right to have a fun, playful atmosphere on the field and in the locker room. But some close to the team feel a prank on former Northwestern quarterback and massive nerd Trevor Siemian has gone on too long, with the talentless 24-year old being led to believe for several days now that he will open the season under center for the defending Super Bowl champions.
The Broncos told the former 7th Rounder on Monday that he will be the starting quarterback when the team takes on Carolina in a Super Bowl rematch set for Week 1. The friendless Siemian sadly took his teammates at his word and immediately called his parents to inform them that he got a job as a real starting NFL quarterback. “I did it, dad! I did it!” Siemian happily exclaimed into the phone. “You can love me now!”
Only the failed college QB who threw 7 touchdowns and 11 interceptions in his senior season at Northwestern in 2014 is not actually playing quarterback for the reigning champions … but the team has continued to lead him on for several days now.
“For a supposedly smart guy, he’s a complete idiot,” said one teammate. “It’s hilarious. He really believes a team looking to defend a championship would just hand their fate over to some nobody who lost to Northern Illinois less than two years ago. Like an NFL team would say: ‘Hey, you know who should follow in the footsteps of Peyton Manning, maybe the greatest quarterback of all-time? This random tool who got blown out by Illinois.’ I mean, what a dumbass.”
Even head coach Gary Kubiak said he doesn’t feel sympathy for Siemian.
“Sorry, but I can’t feel bad for someone with such a lack of self-awareness,” he said. “The starter? On an NFL team? There are rec league flag football teams this guy couldn’t start for, no lie. We were going to cut him because he’s terrible, but now I just want to see how long we can play it out. I still don’t think he has a clue it’s all fake.”
As for who the Broncos plan to start at quarterback when the Siemian prank is over, Kubiak at first laughed and then grew quiet and sad.
“Honestly, I have no idea,” he said sadly. “We don’t have a single decent quarterback on the roster do we? I don’t think we really thought through this whole prank very well. Shit. Oh, well. All the more reason to have our fun now before the regular season starts.”