Cam Newton listed as Doubtful for Week 15 because he’s struggling to find an outfit dumb enough to wear

Dec 13, 2016 · 2 min read
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CHARLOTTE — Carolina Panthers quarterback Cam Newton is unlikely to play in his team’s Week 15 matchup against Washington because he is having difficulty finding an outfit to wear that will meet his standards of looking ridiculous.

“Cam informed me today that he is running out of time to pick something for Monday night,” said head coach Ron Rivera. “Obviously, if he can’t settle on an outfit by Thursday, it’s unlikely he’ll play. He can’t exactly show up for a Monday night game, with all the cameras and attention that brings, wearing some gray suit from off the rack.”

Newton admitted today that he has struggled throughout the season to top his attire performances from one week to the next.

“It takes a lot of work and time to find outfits like this week to week. It’s a long season,” he said. “And remember: I don’t have to just find absurd clothing, I have to find absurd clothing that fits a 6-foot-5, 245-pound man. So, yeah, I wore a church lady outfit last week, but I didn’t just borrow it from some grandma. I had to get that custom made to fit.”

However, the quarterback denied that all the time he spends picking out clothes has impacted his play on the field this year.

“I think dressing like this makes me play better, actually,” he said. “If you know you’re going to show up at the press conference dressed as a grandma, or Harry Potter, or a 1920s gangster, it’s pretty motivating to have a big game. You can’t throw five picks and then show up in tights, tap dancing shoes and a feather boa, you know? Oh, shit. I think I just figured out my outfit for this week.”

The Panthers have now officially listed Newton as Probable.

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