Chargers and San Diego reach new stadium deal by agreeing to have Mexico pay for it sometime in the future

SAN DIEGO — The Chargers will remain in San Diego for at least the next 30 years thanks to a new stadium deal that was struck early this morning by the team and local officials. The City and County of San Diego will front the massive costs of a proposed $1.5 billion venue solely by a significant tax hike on residents, but the Chargers have promised to pay local citizens back by making Mexico pay for the stadium eventually.

“The key to any good deal is trust,” Chargers owner Alex Spanos said at a press conference. “So just trust us on this Mexico aspect of the deal. As long as you all pay to build the new stadium, I’ll be sure to have Mexico pay us back down the road. That’s a promise. They’ll pay so much back it will make your head spin.”

San Diego mayor Kevin Faulconer said he is “happy to keep the Chargers in San Diego with the promise that taxpayers will eventually be paid back, and more, by Mexico. I hope we’ll also see a lot more Mexican fans coming to games as soon as they realize their country has invested billions into this stadium.”

The Chargers insist Mexico will write a check to cover the cost of the stadium and more out of appreciation of the Chargers staying in San Diego, just 30 minutes from the country. But Mexican officials say they have no knowledge of the deal, have no plans to pay for a new Chargers stadium and don’t care much at all about NFL football.

But Spanos insists that is just posturing before they cave: “Mexico will be talking a lot different when we go 9–7 again and compete for a wildcard. The billion dollar checks will start rolling in. They will want to jump on the bandwagon to make the Chargers great again.”

President-elect Donald Trump reacted to the news on his Twitter account this morning, tweeting: “Walls (of a stadium) will be going up near the Mexican border in San Diego, all thanks to me! This is just the start. Thank you, Donald!”

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