Cowboys confident that broken off pieces of Tony Romo can start at QB in a pinch
DALLAS — Cowboys quarterback Tony Romo suffered his first of what will inevitably be dozens of injuries this season when he was knocked out of a preseason last night after taking a glancing blow to the back.
The sight of Romo face-first on the ground, grabbing at his back and writhing in pain after just the third offensive play of the game reminded most Cowboys fans that their rapidly-aging, 36-year old quarterback is likely to shatter into several hundred pieces at the slightest contact. But team owner and president Jerry Jones said he is confident the Cowboys will be fine even if, or when, Romo breaks.
“The advancements made in medicine and prosthetics over the years, and even in the last few years since Tony started getting hurt all the time, are amazing,” said Jones. “I’ve even looked into cloning another quarterback from a broken off piece of collarbone. They’re close to being able to do it.”
After Romo, the Cowboys have just Kellen Moore and rookie Dak Prescott on the depth chart at quarterback, a seemingly risky position for a team that fancies itself a Super Bowl contender. Jones says that failing to address his team’s QB situation wasn’t due to negligence on his part, but because there weren’t better options out there.
“Look at some of the names out there: Charlie Whitehurst, Michael Vick, Josh Freeman,” said Jones. “Is anyone honestly going to tell me any of them are better than rigging up Tony’s femur to some sort of catapult device that can launch footballs? I really don’t think so. That’s what you get in an experienced quarterback like Tony: even his severed body parts have that veteran moxie to still make plays when you need them.”
Romo believes he will be able to avoid the injury bug this year, however.
“I’m in good shape and I’m excited about the season,” he said before screaming out in pain as his jaw dislocated from the act of speech.