Derrick Rose takes new Knicks teammates out for a bonding night of group sex

NEW YORK — New Knick Derrick Rose is in his first few days as a member of the team, but the point guard is hoping to establish himself as a leader on the floor and off, as he showed by organizing a night of group sex for his team after yesterday’s practice.

“I’m a big believer in group sex. It’s a great way to come together, no pun intended,” said the former Bulls star. “You just charter a bus and drive around town, showing up at the apartments of girls in my contacts and just enjoy being together.”

Rose is currently being sued in civil court for raping a woman with two of his friends, but the former league MVP insists the 2013 incident was consensual group sex.

“To be honest, after group sex, the second-best way I’ve found to bond is getting accused of rape with a bunch of your friends,” he said. “You and your attorneys spend a lot of time together talking and you get to be under oath, which really lets people be open and honest and talk about their favorite sex toys. It’s a great team-building exercise.”

No other Knicks were willing to speak on the record about last night’s team activity, but several players this morning did request trades to teams out of state.