Dressage horse has the shit kicked out of him back at the stables by cool racehorse
LEXINGTON, KY — An American horse that competed in the Rio Olympics in Team Dressage, or horsey dancing as it is more commonly known, was beaten up and given a saddle wedgie by the other horses in its stable today upon returning home from the Olympics.
After getting back to the stable late last night after a long flight to Kentucky from Brazil, Mr. Danceskin was found red-eyed in the corner of his stable this morning by his groomer.
“Unfortunately, bullying is a very real problem in the horse community,” said Mr. Danceskin’s trainer, Trish McDowell. “The thoroughbred racehorses are seen as the cool jock horses and more sensitive and artistic beauties like Mr. Danceskin can be singled out and mistreated. He’s been dealing with this since he was a colt. Apparently not even making the Olympics is enough for these asshole racehorses.”
McDowell says Mr. Danceskin will have the last laugh or whinny, as the case may be.
“All of these racehorses are inbred and have weak, brittle leg bones that can snap at any moment and bring about a premature death,” she said. “And when that happens, Mr. Danceskin will literally be dancing on their graves.”
At the very moment she said that, Danceskin jumped up and began doing the Samba, his heels gleefully kicking this way and that.
“There you go, Mr. Danceskin,” she said. “I love your spirit. They’ll never beat you down.”