Jimbo Fisher Facing 85 Years in Prison After Taking Responsibility for FSU Program

PINEHURST, NC — Florida State head football coach Jimbo Fisher is facing a minimum of 85 years in prison after taking responsibility for the Seminoles football program yesterday at ACC media days.

“You as the head coach take responsibility,” Fisher said to the assembled media regarding FSU’s recent arrests and behavioral issues. The head coach and 2013 national championship winner was them swarmed by local, state and federal law enforcement officials.

“It’s rare that you get the head of a criminal organization to admit full responsibility, especially in a public setting like that,” said Jack Meyerhoff, the head of an FBI task force that has been looking into the Florida State program since the Bobby Bowden era. “It was a slip of the tongue by Fisher, but we’re happy to finally get him. Lots of people in and around Tallahassee can sleep tonight knowing the streets are safer.”

Fisher was arrested and hit with dozens of charges, ranging from unpaid traffic tickets to violent crimes to arson, racketeering and operating a criminal enterprise across state lines. If convicted on all charges, the minimum sentencing guidelines would equal 85 years behind bars, with a maximum of 327 years. Either way, the head coach would never see the outside of prison in his lifetime.

Florida State University is standing behind the coach, despite the serious nature of his admission.

“We believe in innocent until proven guilty in America,” said FSU president John Thrasher. “And at Florida State, we believe guilty really isn’t all that bad as long as your produce on the field.”