Mosquitoes pull out of Olympics due to poor conditions in Brazil

RIO DE JANIERO — Several million more mosquitoes have announced they will not be in Brazil for the Summer Olympics later this summer due to the poor conditions in the host country.

In a statement released today, the mosquitoes say “while we typically breed in standing water, the poor water quality in Brazil makes this process even gross for us, mosquitoes. Also, the political climate is such that people are very angry, which makes them more prone to slap at us and kill us. It’s not a healthy environment for mosquitoes, unfortunately, and so we must back out of the Rio Games.”

Mosquitoes were previously expected to lead the 2016 Olympics in attendance. Their statement was written on a piece of paper using human blood as ink.

Rio 2016 president Carlos Nuzman says the mosquitoes pulling out has positives and negatives: “Obviously, they bring a lot of bad things with them as far as disease and just being a nuisance. But them backing out just adds to the flood of athletes who have already refused to come. It will be hard to reverse this trend.”

It also was reported today that fish will not attend the Olympics, as hundreds washed up dead on a Rio beach.