NCAA Threatens Teams with Holding Entire Tournament in Dayton if Quality of Play Doesn’t Improve

INDIANAPOLIS — NCAA officials have been in touch with top-tier college basketball programs to let them know that the poor quality of play seen throughout Division I this season could have dire consequences: having to spend an extended period of time in Dayton, Ohio.

“I’m not telling tales out of school here: the quality of college basketball has been going down for the past decade or more,” said NCAA president Mark Emmert. “And this year might be the worst we’ve seen. There are not any good teams. Something needs to be done.”

Emmert and his emissaries have been contacting North Carolina, Kansas, Kentucky, Duke and other traditional powers in recent days to warn them that if improvements aren’t seen, they risk spending a large portion of their postseason in Dayton, Ohio.

“I think threatening us with Dayton shows how serious the NCAA is,” said North Carolina head coach Roy Williams. “Message received.”

But Kentucky head coach John Calipari says he will not be threatened.

“I have a young team that is growing and improving, but that takes time,” he said. “Plus, we live in Kentucky, so I’m not sure how the NCAA thinks Dayton seems like a bad thing.”

Emmert said the NCAA has not considered paying players in hopes that will improve the product on the court.

“We’re not looking to improve the quality of college basketball because we care about the sport or some such idealistic nonsense,” he said. “We just need it to be good so the NCAA can maximize profits. And maximizing profits assuredly doesn’t include paying the players.”

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