Report: Louisville Unlikely to Fire Pitino After Top 700 Recruits Schedule Official Visits

LOUISVILLE, KY — Despite predictions from many around college basketball that Louisville head basketball coach Rick Pitino will not survive the latest allegations facing his program, it is now very likely the University will retain Pitino after every top high school recruit scheduled a recruiting visit in the past 24 hours.

“While the sex parties may not look good to some people, they are a huge selling point to recruits,” said one Louisville official. “All the ESPN report did was market our program nationally. It’s been great for us.”

In the hours after ESPN’s “Outside the Lines” aired an interview with a woman who claims to have supplied strippers — strippers who were available for sex — for recruit parties at the Louisville basketball dorm, the phone lines blew up at the Louisville basketball offices.

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“Four and five-star guys we couldn’t even get to return our calls are now calling us and asking how soon they can get to campus,” said a Louisville assistant coach. “I hope people stop questioning Coach Pitino. He knows what he’s doing.”

Pitino says the upcoming “recruit sex-fests” will not take place at a Louisville facility.

“A small minority in the administration were upset about that, and I can understand it to a degree,” he said. “University facilities are supposed to be for learning and what not. I’d say the players learned a lot about the female anatomy but, whatever, I’m willing to compromise. So our future sex parties will be held at off-campus facilities for that reason. And also because our current building couldn’t fit all the people we’ll have at our next one. It’s going to be awesome. An all-timer. Just recruits and titties everywhere.”

Louisville’s recruiting class for 2016 is now been ranked No. 1 overall by most recruiting websites, although ESPN has it ranked No. 2 due to “the likelihood of losing some players to serious STDs.”

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