Report — Ryan Lochte actually not sure what country he’s in right now: “I think I’m in a room”

SOMEWHERE — U.S. swimmer Ryan Lochte reportedly got out of Brazil before Rio police officials were able to detain him to speak further about his allegation that he was robbed early Sunday morning. But according to a statement from Lochte himself, he has absolutely no idea where he is right now.

Reached by phone this evening to ask his whereabouts, Lochte told a reporter that he was “in a room, I think. Yeah. There’s, like, a chair. And I’m on it. And there are … walls. And the top part, too. I don’t think I’m in a pool right now. It’s not a pool. No. The stuff around me doesn’t feel wet.”

The 12-time Olympic medalist was then asked in what country the room was located, but couldn’t say: “Oh, wow, bro. You’ve got some tough questions. I mean … don’t most countries have rooms. I could be anywhere. Brazil, America, maybe a room that’s on the border of two countries. Whoa. I don’t know, bruh. That’s a real thinker.”

Lochte was then asked if he could ask someone in the room where he was or leave the room and see if he could determine his location by looking for any distinguishing characteristics outside. But he became distracted before answering the question.

“Where are you coming from, little voice?” said Lochte. “Are you living inside my phone? Are you in there, small man? Come on out and be my friend. I won’t hurt you. Jeah!”

The line soon went dead after Lochte was heard saying he would try to open the phone so he could live inside it with the “small man.”

“You got any hot tiny chicks in there, little man?”