Reports: Girl Next Door a Dental Hygienist, Not a Member of the U.S. Women’s Soccer Team

One of these women probably grew up next door. (AP)

According to multiple reports, it turns out the girl next door is not one of the players on the World Cup championship U.S. women’s national team, but instead is a dental hygienist who works over by the mall.

“Karen? On the U.S. women’s soccer team? No. Sorry. Yeah, she’s a dental hygienist these days. She enjoys it,” confirmed her father of the girl who used to live next door to you, a girl who is apparently named Karen.

“Really? I could have sworn that was her on the team when I was watching the match yesterday,” you said of the neighbor girl you thought was named Carli or something like that. “Does she still play soccer, though? She used to play in high school, right?”

“Soccer?” said her father. “No, she never played soccer. She played high school volleyball for a couple years.”

“Huh,” you said. “I guess I’m thinking of someone else. Oh, well. Have a good one.”

“Yeah, you, too,” said your neighbor, who looks like that guy in that one show.

“Hey, did you ever do any acting?” you added.

“Acting? Ha! No. Why are you doing a community theatre thing or something?” said your neighbor.

“No, I just … it’s nothing. Hey, have a good one,” you finally said while heading back inside your house to your neighbor, who you’re pretty sure is the father of a girl on the women’s World Cup team, but doesn’t want to be overwhelmed with publicity.

“I’ll just tell people I know someone on the team anyway,” you thought.

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