Reports: Tennis Doing the One on the Grass Now


LONDON — According to numerous reports, tennis is at that part of the tennis season where they do the tournament on the grass.

“Yep, it’s definitely the grass one they’re doing now,” said a sports fan who was watching ESPN. “It’s the grass one where they all wear white and lots of people speak in English accents? Yeah.”

The grass one that’s now apparently happening is definitely not the one they do on the mud or the dirt or whatever.

“I think that dirt one happened a few weeks ago,” said another casual fan. “They slide around on the mud and get all dirty, right? It’s pretty weird. Just plant grass or put a cement court down like the court at the park by my house.”

When the grass one ends, several sources say that it probably won’t be too long before they do the one in New York City where they talk about John McEnroe all the time.

“That’s the one they do during football season when no one cares, right?” said a fan. “Seems like bad timing to me. But whatever. Their funeral.”

According to just a handful of reports, there is also a tennis thing in Australia or somewhere in the middle of winter, but that could not be confirmed.

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