Patrick Kane … PREMATURELY BALDING SUPERSTAR … LeBron James

Joel Quenneville … TITLE-WINNING COACH … LeBron James

very important … GOALTENDING … completely illegal

what many shots hit … PIPE … what J.R. Smith thinks you want

common, played through … INJURIES … caused by Matthew Dellavedova

dipshit … COMMISSIONER … the shit

just showing intensity … FIGHTING … just showing the downfall of society

Johnny Oduya, J.T. Brown … BLACK GUYS … yes

everywhere … CANADIANS …. Tristan Thompson

on pretty much everyone … GROSS FACIAL HAIR … on Mike Miller

haha-ha-haha … ESPN COVERAGE … wall-to-wall

Toews-Kane-Saad … MOST TALKED-ABOUT LINE … 3-point

Nikita Kucherov … YOUNG, UP-AND-COMING STAR … Riley Curry

mostly between periods … ADS … sometimes interrupted by basketball

pretty close …HOW CLOSE NY’s BIG TEAM GOT… as far away as possible

terrible … OFFICIATING … the worst

most historic in sports … TROPHY … maybe cost 30 bucks at a trophy store