The 25 Worst College Mascots

Mar 21, 2015 · 6 min read

From 204,869 votes on more than 50 mascot options, here is who you determined to be the 25 Worst College Mascots.

#25 — Saluki: Southern Illinois

#24 — Gaylord the Camel: Campbell University

Look at poor camel. He’s so ashamed of himself that he can’t even raise his eyes to meet the gaze of the crowd. Probably because they’d mock him.

#23 — Rocky the Rocket: Toledo

Awesome if you’re an 8 year-old boy who is trying to impress his friends with his Power Rangers Halloween costume. Not awesome if you’re an 18 year-old boy trying to impress your friends with your college of choice.

#22 — Gunston: George Mason

Gunston looks like the kind of mascot who got beaten up a lot in mascot middle school.

#21 — Cayenne: University of Louisiana at Lafayette

Look at those eyes. How tragic that Cayenne is allergic to himself. GET HIM TO A HOSPITAL!

#20 — Lil’ Red: Nebraska

You know the annoying neighbor with the inflatables in their front yard? Nebraska is that annoying neighbor.

#19 — The Boll Weevil: University of Arkansas at Monticello

Boll weevils are six millimeters long and destructive to cotton. The Boll Weevil is 6-feet tall and destructive to your eyes.

#18 — Izzy the Islander: Texas A&M Corpus Christi

Texas: Totally like a tropical island!

#17 — The Ichabod: Washburn University

Washburn’s men’s teams are the Ichabods. The women’s teams are the Lady Blues. But this creepy guy probably shows up at their games, too.

#16 — Big Red: Western Kentucky University

WKU is the Hilltoppers. Whereas Big Red is a big, red blob that was clearly pulled out of the clearance pile in one of Kentucky’s least reputable costume shops. Whoever conceived of this mascot should be taken to the nearest hilltop and thrown off of it.

#15 — Friar: Providence

A friar is a man of God. Or, apparently, some kind of crazed murderer.

#14 — Sammy the Slug: UC Santa Cruz

Ever wonder what it would look like if you made your snot into a mascot? Now you know.

#13 — Gorlok: Webster University

What is a Gorlok? From the school’s website: “The Gorlok is Webster University’s school mascot. It is a mythical creature designed in part by Webster students and staff through a school contest. It is reported to have the paws of a speeding cheetah, the horns of a fierce buffalo and the face of a dependable Saint Bernard.” Oh, you nerds.

#12 — The Blue Blob: Xavier

Xavier does not have a football team. Now you know why. Too humiliating.

#11 — Oski: Cal

There’s Oski with his trademark look: “I’m a senile old man who just crapped my pants. Oops!”

#10 — The Billiken: St. Louis University

Ask any athlete and they’ll tell you: a great confidence boost is not having a mascot that looks like it’s trying to stifle vomit.

#9 — Cobber: Concordia College

That is one pissed off cob of corn. Don’t think you can get rid of him. He’ll be back! In your stool.

#8 — Pete the Peacock: Upper Iowa

UIU also has a campus in Malaysia, really, and is proud to have a Pete there, too. Really. They lamed up two continents with this thing.

#7 — Stanford Tree: Stanford University

In all fairness, the Tree is Stanford’s unofficial mascot. Their official mascot? They don’t have one, which is almost lamer than having a tree as a mascot. Almost.

#6 — Ephelia the Purple Cow: Williams College

Williams College isn’t sure how the purple cow mascot came about. Here’s a theory: lots of drugs.

#5 — Gladys: Mary Baldwin College

Their mascot is named Gladys, their teams are called the Flying Squirrels. Clearly the administration just hates athletics.

#4 — Mr. Okra: Delta State

Delta State is located in Cleveland, Mississippi. Mississippi’s Cleveland. It must be paradise.

#3 — The Fighting Pickle: UNC School of the Arts

It’s not an intimidating mascot. On the other hand, an art school isn’t going to win any sporting events anyway.

#2 — Artie the Artichoke: Scottsdale Community College

As though community college doesn’t have a bad image already, they had to go and do this.

#1 — Speedy the Geoduck: Evergreen State

Not only does the mascot look like a chode protruding from a clam, these are actual lyrics to the school fight song: “Siphon high, squirt it out, swivel all about, let it all hang out.”

It’s easily the worst college mascot. Or, you know, very possibly the best college mascot.

Adapted from an original post on SportsPickle


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