The Crappiest Fantasy Team in America: Week 13

Sure, your fantasy team may suck. But not this much.

This week we open with the First Family of Fantasy Sucking. This husband-wife combo is brought to us by Stephen B., who writes:


I submit this on behalf of my uncle, who’s team Shakedown Street put up a resounding 39 this week. If that’s not enough to win, consider the second team— my aunt’s team, ATX DreamTeam, that put up an nearly-just-as-awful 51 points. That’s correct — this husband/wife duo scored 90 points … combined. 18 players. 90 points.

Gotta love family fantasy football.

Maybe they can take a 2016 tax deduction for being married and also for all the money they lost playing fantasy football.

Next up, SportsPickle reader (and future stand up comedian) Mark H. writes in …

Before the season, our league decided the loser of the #9 vs #10 match-up would have a punishment of doing a 15 minute stand-up comedy routine at a local venue’s open mic night. Going into the match-up, I felt good. After usually dropping about 70 points per week in the regular season, the 2 weeks before the match-up, Dak helped me score about 110 both weeks. My opponent, “Rise of the bench captains”, was coming off a 58 point-week performance. Well, I guess my team wants me to embarrass myself in front of a bunch of drunk millennials.

Look for Mark’s comedy set at The Laugh Factory. And look for more football laughs at The Factory of Sadness.

Now it’s time to honor some season-long sucking. Submitted by Carson T., this team went 0–13 on the season … and capped it off by putting up 40 points in Week 13.

And last, but undeniably least (if we define “least” as the fewest amount of points), we have this team submitted by Kevin S.

Twenty-nine total points! And if that’s not humiliating enough, they were beaten single-handed by Carson Palmer. Carson Palmer! The only teams he’s beaten all by himself before this week were his own NFL teams.

Thanks to all who submitted. And best of luck to all those who are about to suck in the fantasy playoffs.

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