Tony Romo’s collarbones really rooting for Dak Prescott

Dec 12, 2016 · 2 min read
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DALLAS — Sources close to Tony Romo’s collarbones, the long bones that stretch between the sternum and shoulder, say the oft-injured clavicles are really hoping Cowboys rookie Dak Prescott comes out of his recent slump so they don’t get shattered again.

“They want Tony to retire,” said a body part that is located above the collarbones. “They’ve had enough. They just can’t handle the kind of contact that comes with playing in the NFL anymore. They break every time they’re touched now, but Tony won’t listen to reason. Or repeated pain and national humiliation.”

The collarbones were initially terrified that they would be forced back into action at midseason, but Prescott’s emergence kept them safe on the sidelines. However, the rookie has thrown for only 499 yards and three touchdowns over the past three weeks, including a 165-yard, two-interception performance in Sunday’s 10–7 loss to the Giants, spiking talk that Dallas could go back to Romo for the postseason.

“The collarbones are fearing for their lives. How many times can they be broken without just jutting out of his chest and being replaced with some sort of prosthetic?” said the source. “They need some other body part to step up and save them, like maybe for one of his knees to blow out while he jogs onto the practice field.”

Romo himself said today that he feels physically able to play if called upon.

“Dak has got us here, but I’m ready to go if they need me to step in,” he said. “They say broken bones actually get stronger after you break them for the seventh time.”

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