Vice President Biden Fills Out His Annual “World’s Hottest Chick” Bracket

WASHINGTON, D.C. — Vice President Joe Biden continued his annual tradition of filling out a March bracket today, making his picks for “The Hottest Chick of 2015" bracket for Maxim magazine.

Despite Kate Upton being a heavy favorite in Maxim’s online voting, Biden went with an upset, taking Ariana Grande as his champion.

“Kate Upton is hot, no doubt about that. But she’s getting older and is engaged. And you have to think those huge jugs are going to start heading south soon. But this Ariana Grande … woo!” said the Vice President, pretending to pant. “She’s young, but legal. Tiny. Single. Italian. Sassy. Everything about her makes my second-in-command stand at attention.”

Despite his job as Vice President of the United States, Biden told Maxim video host Chaz Myers that “he put a lot of research into my picks.”

“Unless the president kicks it, the vice president doesn’t do too much. I don’t think I’m telling tales out of school here,” said Biden. “So most of my days are filled online checking out the beautiful young women of America. And this isn’t just me pandering to voters when I say this: the United States has the hottest young women in the entire world!”

Biden was asked if he shared his picks with President Obama, but claimed he did not.

“I haven’t seen him much lately,” said the VP. “Ever since Malia’s 16th birthday party last year, I’m told I’m not quote-unquote ‘welcome.’ You give a beautiful, young girl a back rub for her birthday and people get all bent out of shape.”

The vice president then ended his interview with Maxim to attend “high level meeting at the Hooters on 7th Street.”