Which Falcon is the Most Heroic?

The Millennium Falcon or the Atlanta Falcons?

It’s the Superbowl this weekend. Atlanta vs New England in what’s looking to be an incredible game.

The Patriots lead by Emperor Belichick and his apprentice Tom Brady are aiming to continue their stranglehold on the NFL. Love them or hate them you just can’t deny that they’re the most dominant team in perhaps all of American sports ever, they’re just that good. Opposing them is the Atlanta Falcons and their unforgiving offense which has been tearing apart defenses like a hot knife through butter. Atlanta are not here to make friends, they want to win. They want to put an end to the Pat’s dominance and they just might do it.

Similarly in the battle of Endor, the Superbowl of the galactic civil war, the Millennium Falcon was successful in destroying the 2nd death star ensuring victory for the rebel alliance and finally putting an end to the empire’s rule. Bringing joy and freedom to everybody across the galaxy, if there’s anybody who can recreate this victory and expose any weaknesses or small exhaust ports it’s Ryan.

Assuming Atlanta win the Superbowl we’re left with two Falcons both being heroic underdogs who beat a mighty empire which leads us to the following question; which Falcon is the better hero? The Millennium Falcon or the Atlanta Falcons?

It may seem outrageous to compare an NFL team with a Corellian YT-1300f light freighter to deem the most heroic of the two but it can be done and really it’s pretty simple. As Shea Serrano showed us all we have to do is breakdown specific traits and qualities that make one heroic, compare the two on those traits, decide which is the winner, and then tally up the totals. Easy.

The traits we’ll use are; skill set, morals, resilience, aesthetics, and ability to capture the people’s hearts.

Let’s Go.

Which Falcon has the superior skill set?

Atlanta boast an outstanding offence, averaging 415.8 yards per game this season with an exceptional passing game and strong running game. No doubt thanks to Ryan’s MVP level performance with a league leading 83.3 QB rating Atlanta are a touchdown machine. Of course it’s not just Ryan to thank for this, Atlanta has Julio Jones. A powerhouse of a man who will run through your team making your day a living nightmare. On top of their electrifying offence they have Vic Beasley leading the league in sacks. Not bad.

The Millennium Falcon however has 2 CEC AG-2G quad laser cannons, 2 Arakyd ST2 concussion missile tubes, a BlasTech Ax-108 “Ground Buzzer” blaster cannon, deflector shields, and is able to enter hyperspace.

Atlanta can score a lot but they cannot enter hyperspace. The Millennium Falcon wins.

Score: 1–0, Millennium Falcon

Which Falcon has a stronger moral compass?

The Atlanta Falcons have a strong involvement with the local community doing charitable fundraising, visiting children’s hospitals and running programs such as “read with a falcon”. Matt Ryan has taken this a step further with his celebrity golf tournament raising close to a $1 million dollars for Children’s Healthcare of Atlanta as well as being a strong partner with the Make-A-Wish foundation. He’s an MVP on and off the field, almost as inspirational as their #riseup motto. Yes, the Falcons had Vick but that’s the past, we’re in the Ryan era now.

The Millennium Falcon itself is a ship and therefore has no morals so we can’t judge it based on that, we can however judge the morals of it’s pilots Han Solo, Lando Calrissian and Rey.

Han is a smuggler, a rogue always in trouble with the Empire. He regularly breaks the law, hangs around in shady cantinas, and has no trouble blasting Greedo at point blank range. Even years after the end of the empire he’s still smuggling and in trouble with a new bunch of gangsters. Bad Hombre.

Lando is much like Solo in that he was initially a smuggler and frequent gambler no doubt being involved with many a shady situation. Though he changed his ways and eventually became leader of Cloud City and a general in the rebel alliance let’s not forget that he made a deal with Darth Vader which lead to Han being frozen in carbonite and shipped to Jabba. I’d be wary of him.

Rey is a stand up girl, morally sound and bound to be a great hero. If she was the sole pilot then the Millennium Falcon would win this round easily but she’s not, outnumbered 2–1 to two morally questionable smugglers. Also co-pilot Chewbacca rips people’s arms out of their sockets.

This round goes to Atlanta.

Score: 1–1

Which Falcon is more resilient?

Whilst Atlanta score a lot they also get scored against a lot too. They’re defense is OK, it definitely does it’s job but it isn’t great. To win they have to rely on their offence to score as much as they can and hope that it’s more than their opponents, in their case the best defense is insane offence and it’s worked. In the playoffs however the defense has been on point and seemed to improve with each game. Come the Superbowl will they be able to stand up to Brady?

The Millennium Falcon has been through a lot. It’s outran the empire, been through wars, been active in destroying two planetary sized super weapons in the 2nd death star and Starkiller base, and it still works after sitting away in the desert wasteland of Jakku. She’s tough.

Could the Atlanta Falcons withstand blaster fire or make it through hyperspace unscathed? I think not.

Score: 2–1 Millennium Falcon

Which Falcon is more aesthetically pleasing

This may seem superficial but appearances matter, this is an important quality our hero must have. All of our greatest superheros are hunks, we idolize beauty.

Atlanta stand out with a strong red and black colour scheme, you simply can’t go wrong with those colours. They know you seem, they look good and they know it. Logo wise they’re looking good, with a logo that’s recognisable, sleek, and the falcon is in the shape on an F. That’s pretty cool. Last but not least Atlanta’s upcoming Mercedes-Benz stadium is a work of art that matches the aesthetics of the team well. Atlanta’s looking good.

The Millennium Falcon, though iconic, values form over function. It’s a freighter. It’s not designed to look good it’s designed to transport cargo. It’s clunky and ugly with dull greys it easily blends in with it’s environment it doesn’t stand out and scream “I’M GOING TO SAVE THE GALAXY” at all. With it being an inanimate object it could get away with the mysterious strong silent type vibe, but even those guys have a little flair to them. It also looks like a dinner plate.

The Millennium Falcon doesn’t try to look good and for that Atlanta wins.

Score: 2–2

Which Falcon captures the people’s heart better?

The Millennium Falcon captured the heart of everybody in the galaxy when it destroyed the 2nd death star effectively destroying the empire in the process freeing billions upon billions leading to celebrations across the galaxy. Not bad for a clunky freighter. Whilst it didn’t capture the hearts of the likely millions of stormtroopers, officers, and workers they killed nor their families it still did capture a number of hearts that far outweighs those.

Almost everybody outside of New England hates the Patriots and for that reason alone their hearts belongs to Atlanta. Most of America want nothing more than to see the Falcons send the Patriots back to New England empty handed and teary eyed. The Giants did it twice and all seemed good in the world. But look at the Giants now, most people don’t love them anymore they were just a fling for America. A quick romance it was never going to last. If the Falcons win will people still love them months down the line? Likely not.

Saving the galaxy (trillions upon trillions people) > temporarily pleasing America (300 million people). The Millennium Falcon takes it.

Final Score: 3–2 Millennium Falcon

With a proven track record of empire defeating capabilities the Millennium Falcon takes the crown as the most heroic Falcon.

Could Atlanta gain these empire defeating credentials this Sunday? Very possible and I think they just might take it. However in the Brady/Belichick era the Patriots are unbeaten against animal themed teams in the Superbowl, which as a statistic is extremely valid.