Sprint Squads constitution 1.0v

Constitution 1.0v

Sprint Squads is a secular enterprise. No religion may be established as an official or obligatory one. Making fun of those fasting for religious reasons shall be banned.

The sovereignty of Sprint Squads shall cover the whole of its territory, including the kitchen and the doormat.

Sprint Squads shall guarantee the equality of rights and freedoms of its team members, regardless of sex, race, nationality, language, origin, property and official status, place of residence, religion, convictions, membership of public associations, and also of other circumstances.

In Sprint Squads man, woman and a manager shall enjoy equal rights and freedoms and have equal possibilities to exercise them.

No one shall be subject to torture, violence, defragmentation, compression, hanging by the ribs or other severe or humiliating treatment or punishment. No one may be subject to medical, scientific and other experiments without voluntary consent.

Everyone shall have the right to association, including the right to assemble peacefully, without weapons, throw parties and booze-ups, hold rallies, meetings and demonstrations, marches and pickets.

The collection, keeping, use and dissemination of information about the private life of a team member shall not be allowed without his or her consent. In return, Sprint Squads expects everyone to refrain from collection, keeping, use and dissemination of the inside information. Should any problems arise, the management’s attention shall be guaranteed.

Everyone shall have the right to a personal computer connected to the Internet. Along with it comes a chair, a pen with a few papers.

Everyone shall have the right to food. Guarantees shall be provided for general access to coffee, the house’s kettle, fridge and tableware. Everyone shall have the right to receive on a competitive basis second helpings.

Everyone at the Sprint Squads is allowed to vape, if not disturbing surrounding members.

Everyone shall have the right to rest. We have couches shall ensure for everyone the possibility of sleeping. Those taking a nap shall be guaranteed protection against smearing toothpaste on their faces.

Everyone shall have the right to work overtime, twice overtime and thrice overtime.

Everyone shall have the right to work seven days a week.

Everyone shall have the right to spend overnight in the office.

Everyone shall be guaranteed a high salary paid in full in due time. Team members shall enjoy the right to disclose salary information just once, as in doing so, they cancel their membership to the Sprint Squads team.

Everyone shall have the right to design his or her workplace based on professional needs and in accordance with personal taste and beliefs. Things like zip drives, green floppies, 27-inch monitor, an ergonomic keyboard, printer, or an antirad cactus shall be available upon request and shall be guaranteed at the expense of the Sprint Squads.

Sprint Squads, united by a common abhorrence of asininity, stands for diversity and reason. Therefore, its team members, regardless of age, professional experience and of other circumstances, shall recognize each other as equals and use respectful, yet casual communication, showing esteem for any kind of hairstyle, piercing, make-up, freaky T-shirts, bunny slippers and so on.

Being part of Sprint Squads is the thing to be mighty proud of.
Being part of Sprint Squads means attaining the top level. Sprint Squads shall never cease its pursuit of perfection and professionalism.