Working Mom Life
Why do moms work when they could stay home with their children? What do moms gain from working?
Why work when you could just stay home? Those words stab me in the heart. The mom guilt is overflowing, and I feel horrible for being, ‘ungrateful’ for the opportunity to stay home with my children. On the flip side, I feel so fulfilled from working; I feel I’m a better mom/wife/friend when I work on something that intellectually stimulates me.
I’m a military spouse, and the reality is, my husband may not come home one day. I’m not speaking only about deployments and training exercises, although those are a large part of any military spouse’s concern; statistically speaking, something could happen, and if it does, I want to be able to take care of myself and my children through my job and financial security.
If that knock at the door were to come, how would I move forward and care for my children?
When I went back to work, I had a 4-month old at home with me and a preschooler in part-time school. It wasn’t glamorous, and I didn’t expect it to be, but it gave me a purpose. That is something that I could not find elsewhere. The thing is, you have to start somewhere (I was lucky to earn a position where I was able to work from home while being there for my children).
I remember being at Jimmy Johns after a really trying day with my kids. My husband and I were reading the quotes on the walls — the one that stuck out to both of us was a quote from Bill Gates, “Flipping burgers is not beneath your dignity. Your grandparents had a different word for burger flipping. They called it an opportunity.” We all start somewhere.
My husband was supportive of my decision to return to work, and I haven’t stopped since. I have been told that I have become a better spouse, mother, and friend because of my choice to pursue my career. I feel mentally challenged in ways that being home with my children didn’t do for me — I love my kids, but I find I enjoy being with them more when I am working and balancing the two.
I say balance loosely; I’m still working on finding a balance that works for all of us, and it seems it will continue as we all grow and change. Ah, motherhood; beautifully challenging in so many ways.
The ways we’ve found, ‘balance’ in our lives:
- Scheduling everything and living off of our calendar
- Having a set time to work and a time to be present with my family/kiddos
- Getting up early/staying up late to get work done if it means I get to enjoy more time with my kids late in the day/on the weekends
- Keeping weekends open for fun and family (ideally — this isn’t always possible)
- Taking advantage of grocery pickup and Amazon prime (I have a hard time accepting help; this was a good starting point for me)
- Making extra dinner because leftovers are way easier than another dinner (plus this gives you time to clean up or spend more family time together)
- Planning out time for my spouse and me to go on a date and sticking to it. Your marriage is SO important. One of the best pieces of advice I’ve ever had regarding marriage — you and your spouse will be living together long after your kids have left the nest. Don’t forget to prioritize your relationship with one another.
The support of my spouse is one of the significant reasons I feel I have been able to find ‘balance’ in my working-mom life. He is my biggest cheerleader and, when he is home, he’s helping out and picking up the slack with life and our kiddos. I feel this goes hand-in-hand with our marriage, though. We support each other’s triumphs and are there for each other when things don’t pan out the way we expected.
I don’t feel like I have it all figured out, but I’m happy with my choices, and I feel like this is just the beginning. I imagined the life I wanted and went for it, working from home, being there for my kids, and having a solid marriage. Life is tough, but it is so good.
Squared Away is comprised of military spouses who are your trusted assistants. We help CEOs, VCs, executives, and startup teams get their time back. US-based. #SquaredAwayLife #ChiefExecutiveAssistant
Drop by our social media and say hi👋 Instagram, Twitter & Facebook.
Ready to get Squared Away? Email Michelle@gosquaredaway.com.
