The Dysfunctional Quarantine

We are in phase 2.0 of unlocking and honestly are tired of these restrictions. We are sick of staying at home, watching movies, playing video games, and fighting with siblings. Yet, we often forget to acknowledge the fact that we are lucky to be quarantined with our entire family. A home where our selfless mother never fails to bring out her cooking skills on our table, a jovial father often seen sharing his anecdotes, and a sibling who is always fighting for the last slice of pizza. This lockdown couldn’t be better without them.

They are the ones who make us laugh a little harder, cry a little less, and smile a lot more.

While we whine all day, to taste the enticing street food again or hugging our friends tight, we forget to recognize that it isn’t pretty bad to be stuck with our family after all. You suddenly discover that your mother is an avid singer who couldn’t pursue her dreams, and your father had a crush on a girl he met at a school excursion. You learn that your brother broke the toy you thought had disappeared suddenly, and you all share a good laugh to celebrate your togetherness.

There’s no denying that this is the perfect opportunity to heal, learn, and discover, but what about the children stuck in a dysfunctional marriage, the wife trapped in an abusive household, and the man stuck in an unhappy marriage? They are suffocating by each passing minute. Schools and playtime, which were the only escape for children, are now trapped in between constant fights and feuds. The wife, who could talk to her mother only while her husband was at work, is now facing more abuses. The man who enjoyed his work is now suffocating each day. Some of us even fail to fathom the environment in such families. The constant screaming, yelling, stomping around, and slamming doors is a roller coaster ride to hell. There is a climate of instability, unpredictability, and fear.

Being stuck at such a war zone, these folks are at a loss of means to normalize their lives.

Home is supposed to be a safe place where one finds comfort and support, but these unfortunate ones come home to be consumed by a space of terror, intimidation, and poor boundaries. They lack structure and cohesiveness in their lives. While one rules the house with an iron fist, the others passively compromise. While one is volatile and easily provoked, others learn to walk around in eggshells to avoid the person’s wrath.

Coping with such a situation is difficult and requires grit, but recognizing the toxicity in a family needs more courage. The sooner you accept your circumstances, the easier it would be to get by.

The simplest way is to distance yourself from it as much as possible.
Grow a thick skin and a deaf hear to the upheaval, and spare yourself the emotional turmoil. Detach yourself from the verbal attacks, guilt trips, criticism, and resentment. None of you deserved this, and you need to stop blaming yourself for it. Pick yourself up from it and find a mental escape.

• Put on your headphones and play the song that reminds you of your friends. Play along the strings of the guitar and let your agony out.

• Drown yourself in the beautiful colors and paint a masterpiece.

• Meditate and transfer your mind to the place where you feel caressed by love and care.

• Find your imaginary, perfect world through your favorite TV show or the movie you expect your life to become.
• Play with your pet and let him love you with all his heart.

• Turn your experience and life story into a fictional piece because there are no boundaries there. No one can stop you from being what you want to be or threaten you to act in a specific way. Don’t stop yourself from expressing freely.
• Consult a therapist and talk about your abuses.

Wait for the silver lining. It might seem obscure, but it’s not impossible. Never forget that you do have a choice to leave it all behind. Don’t let anyone tell you that you have to compromise with your happiness and give up your dreams for the sake of keeping the broken family together.

It’s okay to say, “I love you, but I need my space.”

It’s okay to say, “I forgive you, but I can’t let you hurt me anymore.”

Many of the us who live in these situations dream and yearn for the day we would escape it all. If you do manage to escape from a dysfunctional family or an abusive household, then don’t look back, and just RUN. Start over again and be the person they failed to become. Forget and forgive them for their wrongdoings. Be the hero of your life like you always wanted to be. Keep your head held high, because you are a warrior who sailed through the invincible waves and battled through awful wars.

And now is your time to shine brighter than the stars and fly higher than the birds. Don’t let anyone take this away from you.