Alone: The Playground: Chapter 1
Have you ever wondered how the combination of hands on a clock can make you feel anything from urgency to respite. I was too young to clearly know the time it said I knew the combination which meant freedom. Slowly, without attracting any attention, I started slipping my stationery into the bag. With the bell, I packed my schoolbag. I ran the fastest I could. The laces on my shoes were loose and could untie itself anytime, but, there wasn’t enough time to stop and tie them back again. I couldn’t have gotten it right like mama anyway. I could see the playground with the corner of my eye. I quickly looked to see if I was late. I remember feeling satisfied. But, I knew I had to get back here quickly. I kept running till the mesh door of my house, and pulled it back. It was a tad too tight for me. Mama was sitting on the red sofa, her fingers digging into the cushion and eyes glued to the television. I am sure she was worried for someone on the TV in that program. The room was not big, but, clean and beautiful as mama made it, always. She looked tired. Turning to me, she smiled. I remember that smile: the tired eyes suddenly beaming up with all the love and happiness. I took off the shoes, Mama doesn’t like it any other way; and ran to her. Gave her our big hug, dropped my bag and ran to the room. Seeing mama, I forgot that I have to go to the playground. Changing into the clothes mama kept for me on the bed, I ran out. I could hear mama shouting, but, I couldn’t stop. I couldn’t have stopped. I knew she was there. She had to be there now. I stopped when I reached the playground. A friend called out and waived at me. I waived back, but, I was still searching for her. There she was!Like every kid of my age, I didn’t like girls, I found them weird. But, She was different. I ran toward her, not a normal, too happy to see her kind of run. It was more like a jog. I couldn’t have looked too eager.
Though, I felt good then, my life was easier before her. A few weeks back when we moved to our new house, that is when I met her. I was angry at my parents and had my eyes fixed on the ground as we were meeting the neighbours. Everyone thought I was shy. I was angry, not shy! But, then I heard “Hi”, in the sweetest voice I had ever heard. I looked up, like always, slowly, without looking too eager. I was a tough kid. I didn’t have to respond out of nicety. But, I remember saying “Hi”. I remember smiling. I knew clearly even then, even in that moment, this is it.
She smiled and said “Hi”. I don’t remember what we talked about, I don’t think I was listening. She wasn’t the prettiest girl in the group. She must have second, third or probably fourth. But, she was smart. She was taking classes on dance and playing some instrument she says. I was sure she is the best in her class. I like any other kid of my age, didn’t like girls, but, I think I respected her. There was just one small problem: I was 5 and she was 8. I was 5 and a half actually. It was getting dark and I knew I had to get home before Mama came searching for me.
What we had was beautiful. I knew she would wait for me in the playground everyday. Still, I was eager to reach there at earliest. I had to make the most of each of these meetings. Every time she smiled or it looked like she appreciated me, it felt awesome, felt like a success. That ‘Hi’ was a success! And while going back, the way she said ‘bye’ was important too. The smile accompanying this ‘bye’ decided how anxious I am going to be till we meet again the next day. I don’t know what kids normally know, I don’t remember that. But, I think I knew, that love was difficult, really difficult.
This story is a part of the series called Alone. Please read the next chapter here: Nothing Lasts forever!
