Methods of Survival as An Empath
“You are so good. So good, you’re always feeling so much. And sometimes it feels like you’re gonna bust wide open from all the feeling, doesn’t it? People like you are the best in the world, but you sure do suffer for it.”
― Silas House
It usually happens to me at a party. I’m in my zone, entrenched in the music, the energy. I may have a drink in my hand (and knowing my anxiexty-ridden ass, I probably do to help me loosen up). And then — I get a sudden rush of emotion. Sometimes it feels like balled up energy with a variety of feelings. Fear, excitement, joy, sadness. The feeling of knowing someone is in the space because they preferred to be around other people, and not feel what is going on inside of them. Or the timid girl across the room who is questioning why she showed up in the first place. Then there’s the person who is in the center of the room soaking up the attention around them. When the rush of emotion used to hit me, I would feel overwhelmed. I still do, but I have a better handle of that feeling now that I know what it is.
It is a peculiar feeling because you question yourself and try to figure out what is wrong with you. And then you realize — these aren’t my emotions, these are someone else’s.
An empath is someone who is able to feel other people’s emotions. Empaths absorb energy, like a sponge. A lot of the times, the sponge gets dirty and it needs a rigorous and purifying soak. This would be qualified as an empath’s treasured alone time, grounding tactics, and immense self care.
There have been quite a few articles debunking the idea of being an empath, including claims that it is just some weird spiritual shit and it contains little backing or evidence of it existing. But the truth is — there is something as a HSP or highly sensitive person, and these are the people who are more likely to be empaths. They are not always empaths, but all empaths are HSP. The ability to empathize on a higher scale is also correlated with how easy it is to put yourself in another person’s position, therefore inducing and culminating incredible perspective.
So what do you do if you’re a highly feeling person in this fucked up world of war, terror, violence, and despair? When turning on the news is sure to initiate a crying spell, or when walking into a crowded space leaves you feeling empty or drained? And that particular feeling is just skimming over the surface of being an empath. When you are intimate with someone, when you know them immensely, when there is a deeply embedded connection, this enhances the ability to perceive what is going on with them, instantaneously knowing when they are lying to you. This carries a high level of energy exertion, and it ultimately leaves you exhausted.
If you identify as an empath, there is a reason why you feel so tired or drained at the end of any day. Being perceptive and intuitive has its challenges. And the best way to navigate this world, who is not kind to anyone, but especially difficult on the people who feel deeply, is to engage in activites that will help clean your aura and spirit when it seems like it has been drenched in an array of energy. I have outlined 3 of the most important aspects of my life that honestly keep me sane.
- GROUNDING IS A MUST
To be honest, I have never been exceptional at being in my body. I’m in my head and in my heart, and I’m in other people’s emotions, but rarely do I feel at home in the vessel that carries me through daily life. I am mostly uncoordinated, and with that comes a sense of clumsiness. I joke to myself that it’s clear I wasn’t human in a past life — that being in this body is hard for me to be accustomed to. For this reason, grounding is essential for me to live in the moment and really feel my body to decipher what it needs.
Grounding tactics can vary for everyone. Hiking, being in nature, moving your body, and stretching can all help to ground your spirit. One grounding tactic that is especially encouraged is meditation. Meditation, if it is not something you have ever tried more than once, seems like just the advice a self-awareness /self-help article would provide. But I promise, meditation clears your mind and your inner galactic universe in the most necessary ways. Start off with 2 minutes, and then increase it by 3 minutes every single time. Before you know it, you’ll be meditating for over 20 minutes a day, and this will increase habitually. There are many meditation apps that can help you get into a routine (I use SimpleHabit). This clearing out process of meditation allows you to stabilize your mind and heart, and will help you process which feelings are yours, the way you’re being affected by other people in your energetic sphere, and parts of yourself that need to be healed but are being triggered by other people’s emotions.
2. ALONE TIME IS ESSENTIAL
Alone time is underrated. A good balance of alone time and being around people is always the best route, but empaths need more alone time than most. Listen to your intuition and your body when you are feeling exceptionally tired. That is likely a sign you need to be engulfed in only your energy for a little while. However long that process is for you may vary depending on the amount of energy you exerted, but the truth of the matter is empaths subconsciously are in roles of exhibiting extraneous amounts of emotional labor. Your friends, family, and loved ones may often call on you for advice, comfort, or both. You emit your wisdom and compassion naturally and organically. This is one of the gifts of being an empath. But with every gift comes a challenge, and this usually means you will soak in some of the energy and vibration the person was confiding with you.
The only way to ascend this is to feel when your irritation levels are sky-high and your overall energy levels are intensely low. This is also another sign that you are in some serious need of alone time, and you should prioritize taking care of your own emotional, physical, and mental health. This may mean you don’t pick up your phone as readily, or reply to text messages as quickly. That is alright — no one is required to have 24 hour access to you. Just communicate when you need space to your loved ones instead of ghosting them when life gets heavy and you feel too guilty to tell them you can’t be supportive because you are trying to support yourself (common empath habit). Journal, sleep, exercise, whatever — these methods will also help you process your daily interactions and your current state of mind with clarity.
3. SELF-CARE IS NOT AN OPTION, ITS A LIFESTYLE
Self-care is a phenomena that has made its way to us through sensationalized media. But I’m talking more than just the actual ‘aesthetic’ of self-care. This self-care starts with loving yourself. It means loving yourself so hard that you do the difficult work to take care of you, your body, and your emotional and mental state. This means processing conversations authentically, taking accountability with the people you have wronged (just because you are sensitive doesn’t mean you’re absolved of wrong doing, if anything your guilt becomes more of a burden) and being honest with yourself. Of course self-care includes the face masks, long baths, extravagant dinners, and spoiling yourself. However, that is not the main and foundational component.
Take this time to do what enhances your soul. And this can be deeply relaxing or incredibly inspiring. For instance, I have the belief that artists are inherently born with a creative soul. So whether this artist reaches stardom or immense exposure is not dependent on whether they will cultivate art anyway. That is a part of an artist’s self care. There will be blockages and moments when the talent seems counterintuitive. But a writer is always going to write, a musician will always be drawn to music, it is the language that is inscribed on their soul. That inherent talent inside of you — it’s calling to be developed further. If cultivating it inspires you, take time out of your week to give focus to it.
These are broad methods to honor yourself as you understand this unique ability. Your intuition is on point, listen to it. Communicate and be vulnerable. As much as you don’t want to, it is a part of your mission on Earth to connect and to help other people connect. Take time for yourself and say no. Remember, when you are excessively entrenched in healing other people it usually means you need to reflect on what has been triggered inside of you. You are worthy and full of love. This world is far from easy to navigate, but being good to yourself, empath or not, is the first step in enhancing the quality of your life.
