The Competition Myth
It’s never a competition if you decide to stay in your lane. Outrun yourself.
This has been a statement that has been reverberating in my mind for quite some time now. The surge of social media in our world has created a warped sense of reality. If you let it, you can become obsessed with how you’re portraying yourself and what other people are doing in the world.
There are many benefits to social media platforms — that part is inarguable. The way we are able to connect, to learn, to educate, to inspire, to heal, and to influence through these databases is insurmountable, and it is clearly beneficial in expanding knowledge, art, and culture. However, the “appearances” we all feel a little pressured to make on platforms where hundreds of your old colleagues, your family members, people from high school and college, and child-hood friends have access to can be puzzling and intense. I definitely have my moments where I feel the need to deactivate my social media accounts and focus on what is happening in present and real time, and I generally do so for my sanity.
We are bombarded by images, accomplishments, success, and progress of other individuals who have been in our energetic sphere, and we have essentially been exposed to only the sun in people. Sometimes, it makes you question your worth, your level of accomplishments, and the urge to be “on time” with every stage of your life (what does that even mean, though? Society is so fucking weird). But let’s be honest, we only post what we want other people to know. Anything else that may be transpiring in our lives may never make their debut into other people’s consciousness. And that’s fine too.
When we see other people succeeding, it is common for feelings of jealousy to emerge. We have all been brainwashed to think any human is better than another, and on any level. Whether it’s racism, homophobia, ageism, sexism and the other hundreds of ways systems and people oppress, or in just what we feel pressured to actualize in our lives. At the end of the day, we all die. We all have talents, gifts, and impact to make on the world and the people who enter our lives. Whether we make it to celebrity status, or we are comfortabkle with a tight circle of 3 friends does not really matter. We all have purposes, love, and destinies. I choose to not follow many celebrities on Instagram for this reason. We tend to worship individuals who are just following their passion and their purpose. Of course it’s admirable, and of course it is okay to respect them and respect their craft, but stardom doesn’t make celebrities better than any other human on the face of this planet.
This is why I believe competition is a myth. Yes, there is competition in every field and sector, and there are only a certain number of businesses/organizations/offices/movements/entities hiring. However, the most imperative thing is to focus on your growth, expansion, and your skillsets. If you develop your gifts, if you make yourself open to opportunities, they will show themselves in various ways.
We get caught up in other people’s outward appearances, jobs, accomplishments, and we think if our friend graduates, we should be graduating with her. If the closest people to us are getting married, then we begin to question our timeline. Maybe you just got let go from your job and that douchebag from your high school football team got a promotion at his. Sometimes, life just fucking sucks. And it comes in waves in every person’s journey. Just because they are succeeding in a current milestone doesn’t mean you aren’t exactly where you need to be in your life.
It’s easy to feel discouraged, and it is always best to feel all our emotions deeply so we can understand the reasons behind them for being triggered in the first place. But the rule we must always remember, the mantra that should seep deep into our hearts and our spirits is that the only person you should ever be in competition with is yourself. Strive to be a better you. Try to be a better version of yourself. This means focusing on your gifts, passions, and goals. This means effective collaborating with like-minded individuals. This means making boss moves by projecting positivity and authenticity. This means laughing hard, laughing often, and loving deeply with people who carry positive forces of energy that rigorously impact you — that energy is infectious in the best way.
This means the you from three years ago may be looking at you proudly because of your strength and tenacity.
I tell everyone, “I want us all to win.” We really should dispel the myth that there isn’t enough resources in the world for us to all live comfortably. These myths are what keeps the 1%, world wars, totalitarian leaders, racist societies and structures, and embezzling businessmen and bankers intact. We could all shine. We could all excel and run in the direction of our purpose if we were given enough room to do so.
At the end of the day, people are going to be intimidated by your success and the way you flourish due to their own trauma and insecurities. People block their eyes from the sun. But never suppress or hold back the true frequency of who you are and all you want to accomplish in the world. You know how you win, every single time? By competing with you. By challenging yourself, and by pushing your energy into various and new spaces.
No once can be in your lane, if there’s only room for one, and that one is you.
