Chapter Sixteen
Jedi Sentinel: Cult of Fear
“Don’t make this about Xen,” Taos chastised the sheriff. It was no mean feat, considering the pilot was shackled to Gatts’ desk at the time. This was Taos’ first arrest and, so far, she’d say it was going really well.
“You made it about Xen when you burned his house to the ground!” Gatts slammed her hands on the desk, rattling a half-empty bottle of hooch and Taos’ shackles.
“Please,” the pilot scoffed. “You’ve wanted to punch this magnificent kisser since the day we started dating. Xen and me, not me and you.”
“Yeah, I understood that part,” the sheriff confirmed, standing back up and crossing her arms. “In fact, that’s about the only thing I’ve understood since we dragged you in here.” She was referring to Tooka, who waited in the lobby, trying not to eavesdrop. “And for the record, if I’d’ve wanted your face punched at literally any moment between then and now, your face would’ve been thoroughly punched.”
Taos grinned and leaned forward over the desk as far as she could. “Now’s your chance, leather queen. Stamp those knuckles right here.” She puckered up and closed her eyes, made little kissy noises.
The sheriff sighed, suddenly weary. “I’m not gonna punch you, Taos, no matter how deeply you deserve it. What I might do is stick you in a cell overnight and make you the Republic’s problem in the morning. Sure would free up my evening.”
“Oh no!” Taos opened her eyes wide and retreated into her seat, looking frantically around. “Whatever will I do? You really got me over a Rancor pit, Gatts. Top notch law enforcement, really. Give her a round of applause, Tooka!”
The musician pouted. “Leave me out of it, for kriff’s sake.”
Gatts tried to get down to business, not for the first time. “Why’d you do it, Taos? I thought your break-up was amicable. And it was years ago! Did he badmouth your ship or something?”
“He knows what he did,” the pilot mumbled.
“Does he?” Gatts put on her skeptical face. “Or did somebody else put you up to it? Xen’s been making a lot of trouble for your new pals at Serenity. Maybe you got a friendly call from Sabra Mul or Coba Perge? Maybe even the big man himself. If you’re willing to name names, I might just let you out tonight…”
“Why?” Taos arched an angry eyebrow. “You don’t think I could mastermind burning down an oil-soaked garage all by my lonesome?”
“Because this isn’t you, Taos!” Gatts kicked the desk, that time, nearly spilling her booze, but the bottle held steady.
“This is me now, Gatts. Get used to it. New Taos suffers no fools! New Taos doesn’t stand idly by while this whole town slowly rots from the inside! New Taos is a flaming sword that burns away all wickedness!!!”
The sheriff’s shoulders fell. Slowly, she walked around to the office door and entered the security code. “You really have fallen out of orbit, haven’t you? Let’s take a break.” The door hissed open and Gatts went around to the lobby, where she conferred quietly with Tooka. “I can’t believe she’s this far gone. Didn’t she just join a few days ago?”
“Oh yeah,” Tooka confided, “she’s been a real Kowakian monkey-lizard, taking stupid risks with her life, breaking up with Stobi, torturing neighborhood animals, I imagine.”
“What do you think she was doing at the spaceport when you found her?”
“How should I know?” The younger woman seemed offended. “I don’t speak arsonist. I just assumed she was trying to escape.”
“Yeah…” the sheriff ran that one around her tongue before turning on her heel. “Why don’t you head home? Thanks for the tip.”
“Go easy on her, alright?” Tooka asked. Gatts committed to nothing, but the musician left all the same.
Back in her office, the sheriff prowled around her quarry like a terror bird. “Why try to flee, Taos? Weren’t your friends at Serenity willing to shelter you? They’ve done it for others, plenty of times. Why not you?”
“I would never betray Serenity,” Taos insisted, raising her chin. “They’re my family, now. My only real family. Their mission is my mission.”
“Separating rubes from their credits?”
“Helping people achieve their potential,” Taos corrected the sheriff, trying again for that righteous indignation. “Look around, Gatts! Debtor’s Run is a wretched hive of con men and skullduggery. How’s anyone supposed to self-actualize with that pack of hounds nipping at their ankles? And who says I was trying to flee?”
“Ever notice there are an awful lot of questions in your answers?” Gatts wondered out loud.
“Ever notice there’s an awful lot of crime in your town?”
The sheriff whirled on Taos, invading her space like an expeditionary fleet. “Why were you at the spaceport?!”
“I, uh… left my favorite hydrospanner at Stobi’s,” the stoolie stammered.
“So, just some standard relationship stuff after your arson, then?”
“Yep,” Taos agreed eagerly. “Who said I was there for my ship?”
“Nobody had to,” Gatts insisted. “It’s obvious. That thing’s your baby.”
“Yeah, well,” Taos scrambled,” not anymore. Those days are over. Couldn’t care less about it, now. I don’t know why we’re even talking about it.”
“Because you brought it up.”
“Doesn’t sound like me.”
“Yeah…” Gatts backed off, apparently satisfied. She poured her stoolie some water, buckled her gunbelt, and headed for the door. “Cool your heels, New Taos. I’ll be back when I’m back.”
Taos didn’t have to wait long. A few minutes of blissful alone time later, the front door hissed open. Tooka poked her spikey head inside and brandished one of Stobi’s data spikes. “Took her sweet time, didn’t she?” the musician asked, getting to work on the inner door.
“If I’d had to beat any harder around that bush, I was gonna get a blister,” the arsonist agreed. The office’s inner door beeped fitfully before admitting Tooka, who made even quicker work of Taos’ shackles.
The pilot massaged her wrists. “You coming with me back to the spaceport?” she asked.
“Wouldn’t miss it.”
“Let’s beat feet, then,” Taos urged her out the door. “We’ve left Xen waiting too long already.”
Less than an hour earlier, Taos had indeed infiltrated the spaceport for her baby. The Free Ticket had been happy to see her; she’d opened her arms and airlock doors wide. The string lights were in high spirits and the reading nook had nothing but kind words for her. Stobi had kept the kitchenette fully stocked, in spite of everything. Taos didn’t deserve her.
She’d crept down the hall to the cockpit and dropped into her pilot’s chair, let the massage beads work their magic. It wasn’t until she started running the preflight check that Taos noticed the gravity locks on her landing gear.
“Dank farrick!” she’d cursed. Taos switched everything off and banged her head against the steering wheel a few times. She’d considered stealing someone else’s ship, but she wasn’t quite ready to commit to a life of piracy. And she’d thought about dismantling her landing gear, but Xen didn’t have that kind of time and she’d definitely get noticed by security.
No, the only viable solution was also the most terrifying… she’d have to ask the love of her life for help.
Stobi had been keeping her books when Taos opened the workshop door and stood there like a lone gunslinger. Tooka was with her, counting inventory. They both looked shocked to see her, but Stobi removed the emotion from her face in the blink of an eye. “Oh, it’s you,” the Bith had droned. “What do you want?” From Cairn Stobi, indifference was aggression.
“Can we talk in private?” the pilot had asked sheepishly.
“Nope,” Stobi had snapped. “We’re kinda busy and it’s almost quitting time. So what do you want?” Tooka tried to sneak out, but Stobi stopped her. “Hey hey! I’m not staying late for this and neither are you. If you wanna keep crashing on my couch, keep counting those couplings.”
Taos took a deep breath. “I can’t explain why I did what I did, but you should know… I didn’t mean any of it. It was all a lie and a I’m so, so, so, so sorry.”
“I can explain it,” Stobi told her coldly, returning her gaze to her books. “You did it because you joined a cult.”
“Yes,” Taos admitted, “but that’s not the whole of it. I don’t deserve your forgiveness, and I know I can’t take it back, I just want you in my life. I want to work for it, if you’ll let me.”
The mechanic considered that as she would the opening bid in a price negotiation. “Maybe… but I’m not going to make a decision right now. Go back to wherever you’ve been sleeping and ask again in the morning.”
Taos examined her feet. “I would but, uh… and this is gonna sound terrible, but — “
“You need a favor,” Stobi finished for her.
“It’s not for me! It’s for — “
“Xen,” she finished again. “Who else?”
“Something bad is happening inside the compound and Xen’s in the thick of it. He needs a pick-up and it’s gotta be soon.”
The mechanic slammed her books closed. “If you’re asking me to remove those gravlocks on your ship, I won’t. I’d get caught, for sure, and I don’t know about you, but I’d like to keep my job. It’s how I can afford to keep living in the house we built together.”
“But it’s life or death!”
“Ain’t it always?!” Stobi finally looked up and made eye contact with her estranged lover. “You’ll have to talk to Gatts. She’s the only one outside the company who can override those locks.”
Taos shook her head. “Gatts won’t do it. She’s always hated me.”
“She doesn’t hate you,” Tooka and Stobi objected in unison.
“Sure she does! I stole her man,” Taos explained.
“Don’t flatter yourself,” Stobi smirked. “That relationship was over before you two even met. Serenity ended it, actually. I guess you have that in common, now.”
That’d been the last barb Taos was going to take. “Look, I understand your decision. I’ll find another way.” She backed out and reached for the door controls, but Tooka had a proposal.
“What you need to do is give Gatts a reason to move the ship,” she told the older women. “Then she’d have to release the locks.”
Stobi was skeptical, of course, but at least she was considering. “What reason could we possibly give her? She’s in the company’s pocket and they’re the ones who put the locks on in the first place.”
Tooka smiled. “I have some ideas about that, but they’re all very dramatic and we’ll need to work together. Are you two good with that or is all… this, “ she waved her hand between the two of them, “gonna be a problem?”
“I’m game if she is,” Taos insisted.
“I’m game,” Stobi countered. “I’m the gamiest.”
Tooka stepped out from the cover of the inventory shelves and dusted off her hands. “Great, because you’re both gonna have to lie to law enforcement.”
The spaceport was bustling at all times, but that evening seemed particularly manic. Gonk droids and astromechs and automated luggage trains coursed across the tarmac like waves in a tide pool. Their beeps and warbles mixed with the whine of machinery and the thrum of engines until it all blended into a single, overwhelming sound.
Tooka and Taos sprawled out on The Free Ticket’s hull, peering through its forward skylight under cover of darkness. Below them, Gatts prowled impatiently around Taos’ tasteful interior while Stobi pretended to defuse a bomb. “I gotta say, that’s a pretty good bomb,” Tooka complimented the craftsmanship. “Do you think she just whipped that together or did she have a real bomb lying around?”
“She wouldn’t use a real bomb!” Taos was aghast. “Would she?”
“A real bomb would be the most convincing,” the musician guessed. “And attaching it to the fusion reactor would really improve the yield, I assume.”
“No, no, no,” the pilot objected, worried about her baby. Oh, and everyone else. “It’s gotta be a prop.”
“Twenty credits says it’s a real but not currently working bomb.” Tooka shifted to her side and offered Taos her hand. They shook on it. “What do you think they’re talking about?”
“Sorry about your break-up,” Taos imitated Gatts’ gruff, clipped delivery.
Tooka trotted out her best Stobi impression. “Think I should take her back?”
“This is what’s on your mind when you’re defusing a bomb?” Taos’ own aversion to discussing the topic made the illusion complete.
Tooka wasn’t done pressing the issue. “Well, she said some unkind things to me.”
“Since I think she’s trying to blow up the whole spaceport, and us with it,” Taos reminded her improv partner, “I say don’t take her back. She sounds like a real pill.”
“But what if a malicious cult messed with her mind?!”
Taos mimed tugging a wide-brimmed hat down over her eyes. “Well, I’m an emotionally stunted loner who can’t get over rejection, so I’m still gonna say don’t take her back. I mean, how could you ever trust her again? Obviously, she’s got a lot of serious work to do on herself first, if she’s falling in with those moonbats on the hill!”
Tooka broke character. “Hey, don’t make it like that, laserbrain. She’s gonna forgive you.”
“Maybe she shouldn’t.”
Tooka patted her friend on the shoulder. “She will, because it’s not about what you deserve. She loves you — Dank farrick!”
“What?!” Taos nearly fell off the ship. “What happened?!”
“I was still in character,” Tooka smirked. “Look, she triggered a count down.” Red, holographic numbers now floated above the bomb, counting down from ten minutes.
“Nice embellishment, Stobi!” Taos celebrated, then, “I mean… Kriffing scraphole moof-milker!”
Stobi was explaining something to the sheriff. Tooka guessed it was something like, “Quick! We have to evacuate the spaceport!”
“In ten minutes?!” Taos gasped in exaggerated shock. “Impossible!”
“Well, I’m not smart enough to come up with any other plans, and I’m an engineering genius!”
Stobi piped down as Gatts gestured for silence, then must have said something like, “I know… we’ll move the ship!”
“Brilliant!” Tooka responded, not waiting for Stobi to say anything of the sort. “Good thing we have your dazzling intellect here to save the day. I shudder to think what could have happened!”
“And good thing Taos was dumb enough to put her bomb inside an easily movable vehicle,” Taos added.
Tooka put one hand over the pilot’s mouth. “She’s coming out…”
The two conspirators flattened themselves against the hull as Gatts charged down the ramp and ran around to the gravity lock, which was latched onto the front landing gear. That gave Tooka and Taos the opening they needed. They slid down the side of the hull like garden snails and waited for Gatts to finish entering her override code. Stobi emerged from the airlock and gave them both a silent salute.
As soon as they heard the telltale beep-thud of the gravity lock disengaging, Taos and Tooka raced up the ramp and closed it behind them, hooting and hollering and congratulating themselves all the way down to the cockpit. The pilot powered up her baby’s repulsorlift and retracted the landing gear before Gatts knew what was happening.
Tooka waved exuberantly to the sheriff, who stood outside with her hands on her hips, glowering like she’d invented it. Taos flipped on the exterior comms. “We’ll have to settle up those arson charges when I get back, sheriff! Xen needs me.”
Gatts tapped a few buttons on her wrist console and The Free Ticket flopped onto her belly. The gravlock made a terrible screech as it skittered out from under the ship. Tooka lost her footing, but Taos gripped the wheel and tried to keep the fury from her face.
“I think we’ll settle those charges now.” Gatt’s voice barked over the comms. “Also piracy, I guess? Stupidity ain’t a crime, but the judge will take it into consideration during sentencing.”
“Gatts,” the pilot pleaded, “you don’t understand! Xen’s in trouble — “
“Ain’t he always?!” the sheriff shot back. “And how does that justify this ridiculous display? Fake bombs, are you serious?!”
“You would’ve said no — “ Taos started.
“I’m done playing the heavy in your sad sock puppet theater, you hear me?! I’m over it! The law isn’t an obstacle course for you lot to run around in like children at recess, and I am definitely not your kriffing schoolmarm! Now come out of there before I have the droids cut you out.”
“Gatts, you gotta listen — “ But the sheriff was done listening. She waved over a pair of astromechs and ordered them to remove The Free Ticket’s airlock door. They extended their tiny torch arms and rolled out of view. A warning light on the ship’s console started panic-blinking moments later.
“Let me try,” Tooka insisted. Taos threw herself over to the copilot’s seat and pouted. The musician sidled up to her instrument. “One time, Gatts, back when I was still doing that one-girl band routine, remember that? Well, this group of tourists came by and began requesting songs. They tipped generously, so I did my best, but half of the songs they asked for weren’t even real songs! They were all engines full ahead, if you know what I mean, and didn’t seem to notice when I just made something up.
“They had servants who kept their glasses full, so things got steadily louder and sloppier as the hour wore on. They chased away all my other patrons. Eventually, one of them got cross with me for not getting his favorite song just right, even though he kept changing its name and couldn’t hum a bar. Anyway, when he inevitably laid his hands on me, guess who was there.”
Gatts sighed heavily. “Was it Xe — “
“It was Uncle Xen! He knocked those belligerent fools around bare-handed. Their bodyguards, too. And do you know what he did after that?”
“Dinner at The Wishing Tree?” Gatts guessed. Taos snickered.
“He stacked those nerf herders in the back of his speeder and drove them to their beach house. And I asked him, as he hoisted the eighth or ninth drunk onto his upholstery, ‘Uncle Xen, why are you helping these people? They were rude and one of them tried to hit me!’ And do you know what he said, Gatts?” No wisecrack, that time. “He said, ‘I don’t care who they are, Tooka Cat. I care who we are.’ Now, I admit we’ve mistreated you, Gatts, and that’s not fair. We’ll have to make it up to you later. But you tell me… Who are we?”
The sheriff looked away and mumbled something under her hat.
“What was that?” Tooka demanded.
“I said, I hate you right now.” The sheriff jabbed her wrist console with one indignant finger and The Free Ticket’s engines rumbled back to life.
Taos yanked Tooka bodily away from the pilot’s seat and dove right in. “Nice job, kid.”
As they rose up over the crater’s edge, another voice sounded over the comms: Stobi’s. “Make sure you check your bunk, love. I left something in there for you.”
Taos turned to Tooka with wide, hopeful eyes and mouthed the word ‘love.’
“Told you so,” Tooka grinned.
Written by Daniel Bayn
Cover image by Midjourney
