The Bridges of Madison County

Philadelphia Theater Company

I got a ticket to this show when I was feeling blue, because I was feeling blue. It wasn’t something I planned to see. Retroactively, I discovered that the musical is based off a book that spawned a movie starring Meryl Streep and Clint Eastwood. The movie was a critically acclaimed success, but I don’t think I’ll ever watch it because this production was so frustrating.

The problem was Francesca, plain and simple. In this production, this Italian war bride with a nuclear family and humdrum life falls in love with a hunky Nat. Geo photographer instantaneously.

Now, I can understand wanting a good ‘ol romp, but love at first sight? Nooope. That is not real and I could not help but roll my eyes. At intermission, I even wrote the note “Dafaq does Francesca’s love for the photographer come from? Like wtf” in my phone.

I also wrote the following notes, both during intermission and after the show:

• Look brother shoots sister: 10/10

Yeah, in the opening number, the brother looked at his sister for a fleeting moment, but it was such a good look.

• Cast maintains characters while moving props — interesting
• Who whacked this girl’s face with a paint bucket

Seriously, she was painted like a clown.

• THE 23 YEAR OLD WIFE WHO RAN AWAY IS PLAYING GUITAR OUT OF TUNE I RELATE SO MUCH

Well, actually, no I don’t play guitar and I’m not a 23-year-old wife, but it was a #relatable moment.

• Missed beautiful opportunity to turn on the radio at “radio” volume and slowly raise it to theater volume
• Way house “builds” in first song is good, but why are windows missing after intermission in just one scene?

Real talk: I’m not sure that the windows were missing anymore. I’m, like, 98% confident, but that last 2% is scaring me. Ugh, why do I have to be such a nitpicky theatre snob?

• Only top of house when in bedroom nice
• Flowers out of vase in act 2 so cute improve
• Bridges coming down x3 great — first time set behind, second lowered as he walked, third come down fast
• Y’all couldn’t have dumped out a little brandy during intermission so it wasn’t like she hadn’t drank it in forever? And, if she didn’t, y’all expecting me to believe that brandy still good?

Okay, in hindsight, I guess it’s more meaningful that she didn’t drink the brandy until she did. Also, apparently brandy can keep forever. I don’t drink — sue me.

• Dis lady’s accent yikes and also her voice bigger yikes pick a register and stick with it plz

Honestly, I can’t remember who this was in regards to. Whoops.

At the end of the show, the elderly gentleman sitting next to me (whom I saw writing a note on his playbill and showing, whom I assume was his wife sitting next to him, the note during the show — it made my heart melt a bit) turned to me and asked what I thought. I told him I wasn’t emotionally invested because Francesca’s love was unfounded. He agreed.

I’ll end this with a how I described this show to a friend: “This is a show about a woman whose housewife hormones go crazy when a 37 year old divorcee shows up at her doorstep. The denouement is that she chooses to get ice cream with her family instead of running away with the photographer boi”.