A Femme Rising: How Women Can Build Their Professional Networks in a Male-Dominated World
The article by with Dorozhkina, Managing Partner at Starta Ventures, was published in Forbes.ru, business media outlet in Russia.
I faced the need to expand my professional network several years ago when I started my career in the US venture capital industry. I was inspired by an entrepreneur and Facebook COO Sheryl Sandberg who urged women to fight for their success in her book “Lean In.” She founded the organization LeanIn.org, that connects women to empowerment groups called “circles”, based on their interests and demographics where they can support and help each other. The circles are private — so I applied to join. To my surprise, my application got rejected with no further explanation. This left me with a strong sense of dissonance — the organization that claims to encourage and motivate women refuses to accept some of them. But I was forced to stop being distracted and concentrate on finding a better approach.
If you are looking for a professional network, and not for new girlfriends to chit-chat and party with, try to connect with influential women from your field. One of my acquaintances got my foot in the door of a private group: Women in VC. The group is small — about 450 participants across the country, but the professional focus opens endless opportunities.
For example, you can attract one of the group members to invest in your project or ask for a warm introduction to someone in the world of the venture business. Professional groups are a useful resource for women, especially in male-dominated industries.
First networking tip
Join organizations for women, but choose the ones focused on your industry, business direction and profession. Those are the ones where you can count on real help and benefits for your career. Too generalized network circles will be a waste of your time.
A primary networking issue that women face is not being willing to sacrifice free time they devote to their families for several days of off-site conferences or hours of meetings on the golf course. The first thing that you need to let go of is the feeling of guilt when you do have to attend these events. Next, start to plan and optimize your networking approach. You need to do it regularly — it is not possible to go out once a month, collect business cards and consider yourself being done. Further, develop your professional relationships by reaching out to people and keeping them updated on your major news and life changes. Additionally, planning networking events in advance will help you maintain a healthy work-life balance. In my VC network, we have a monthly dinner meeting. All participants have it on their calendars and they try not to miss it because everyone understands how valuable and mutually useful business communication is. On other days, we keep in touch through various channels in the Slack app.
I’ll share two examples below of an efficient way to network. When you organize public events, extend an invitation to every member of your network circle to catch up with them during your working hours. Another solution is to organize your own lunch meetings and invite your professional acquaintances from various fields who may potentially be interested to meet each other.
Second networking tip
Leave time for networking in your weekly schedule and optimize formats and tools you are going to use. Combine your work-related meetings with networking and use online channels.
This constant struggle for women to get recognized in business often leads to inefficiencies in networking. One of the mistakes women make is that they tend to excessively brag about their merits and awards: it can be perceived as overcompensating for insecurities and may leave a bad impression. The United States is a country where self-marketing has been cultivated since childhood: only business stars come to interviews and LinkedIn profiles of Americans usually have twice as many achievements and completed courses than yours. But even in the US, I often witness how constant stress due to furious competition in a male-dominated world makes women go overboard. Sometimes, it is better to say too little than too much: there were times when people thought I was an assistant to my partner.
Don’t get too worked up and rush to prove your worth. Talk about your successes strategically when the right time comes. Ideally, someone else will bring your accomplishments up for you. As a result, you will get recognized without ever needing to self-praise again. There is only one way to get a seat at the table: you need to gain self-confidence and do your job without paying attention to any setbacks or to how people might perceive you. It’s time to forget about any “women issues” — your professionalism and the job that you are passionate about are at stake.
Third networking tip
Stop dividing issues strictly into “male” and “female” categories. Cultivate self-confidence without having to prove and demonstrate it. Be professional.
Also, it is not that big of a deal to get an invitation to an exclusive men-only event such as car racing — especially, if you stop dividing issues strictly into “male” and “female” categories. Sport is a good topic to help you find common grounds for further development of your business contacts: for example, in the US, squash is a popular game amongst both men and women.
A big networking obstacle for women is the perception that men only have “manly” conversations and hobbies. It seems like a woman will never be able to join a conversation about baseball teams or be invited to a cigar club or a hockey game. In fact, men spend a lot of time evaluating each other, trying to assess if they are interested in doing business together. Women move through this process much faster and use other methods for developing contacts. Doing a little homework before meeting a new person will help to jump-start a conversation: background information on a recent deal or a golf tournament where they participated will do. It doesn’t take long to look up some industry news and a dossier on your potential business partner — the priority is to show your sincere interest.
It’s interesting how both sides are trying to bridge the gap. Women organizations set up events with men — major leaders and entrepreneurs. And vice versa, men try to do their part. One of our partners, Matt Wallaert, the former head of Microsoft Ventures, holds quarterly mentoring dinners for women — he invites potential mentors and those who need a mentor. At the event, he gives out the appropriate stickers and facilitates communication and exchange of experiences. This is his self-invented social mission, partly influenced by his wife. This is also an example of what can be learned from men in networking — get straight to the point without losing time. Talk about what you need and how you can be useful. Women still don’t do that often and struggle, especially when it comes down to asking for help. You can ask a businessman you admire to become your mentor — a guide in the men’s world of business. He will represent you and help expand your professional network.
If you have not fully mastered the technique of free effective networking in the male community yet, use a female resource. In the US, there are global organizations like UPWARD Women. Find the ones in your area and find someone who can help you get into them. Directly contact women from your industry through social networks. Women have an advantage in business communication with each other — we can ask for something in a friendly way, and this will not be understood in the wrong context. If you use all the opportunities and ignore the obstacles, there will be no difficulties in building an effective network of business contacts.
Fourth networking tip
Learn how to network from men and build relationships with them. Use your connections with women as your secret weapon. Combine everything you have learned and create your own style.
