Weekend Diversion: Velociprincesses
A whole new Jurassic World, where Disney princesses meet velociraptors.
“A princess is many things, and a raptor is one of them.” -Laura Cooper
It’s important to take time every week to think back and reflect, to let your experiences combine with your imagination and your inner self, and put your internal affairs in order. Galactic, featuring Chali 2na (of Jurassic 5) would have you do exactly that, if you listen to their song, Think Back.
But for some of us, it’s combining our past experiences with our own creativity that enables us to put out something new into the world, something that’s never been seen before.
Check out the level of detail here, right down to the glass slipper on Cinderaptor’s talons. (We call them talons on dinosaurs, right?)
But this is not some one-off that Laura went and did, here; she’s got a whole slew of Disney princesses in the raptor treatment, making them — in many cases — far more bad-ass than you ever imagined. Even the ones who were pretty bad-ass to begin with!
Mulan was pretty tough and strong-willed on her own, with “I’ll make a man out of you” ringing in many people’s heads as one of the best cartoon montages of all-time. (And yes, the key change at ~2:39 does change everything!)
But this Mulanraptor would make a meal out of you in no time at all!
When you saw the Little Mermaid, didn’t you wish that Ariel was the hero of her own story, rather than having to rely on a young Jon Hamm? Well, perhaps Ariaptor can sate that desire for you!
Make it pink? Make it blue? Why not just go all the way and make it the red rain of blood that all princesses delight in! Auroraptor has got that covered, as you can clearly see.
I particularly like how both her and Cinderaptor have no qualms eating their allies just as much as one would devour their enemies. Dinosaurs, man.
Raptor Belle goes one step farther, smashing all of the Beast’s items! Chip? Cogsworth? Lemiere? GONE! One of the strongest Disney Princesses, personality-wise, makes one of the strongest (and smashingest) raptors of all, if you ask me.
And there are plenty of other interpretations as well, from the princesses of Aladdin to Brave to Pocahontas.
But my absolute favorite? It has to go to the sisterly princess (and queen) duo of Anna and Elsa… the Frozenraptors!
It’s the subtlety that gets me good, here… the fact that they’re both clearly eyeing their next meal. It doesn’t matter who it is: it could be Sven, it could be Hans, it really doesn’t matter.
They’re just a couple of hungry dinosaurs, trying to make their way in this Disneyfied, Jurassic World. (Okay, maybe a more Cretaceous world, but still.) Go check out Laura’s entire Velociprincess library, thanks to Tastefully Offensive for bringing this onto my radar, and hope you find this as amusing and entertaining as I did!