Looking to Capture More Tech Votes, Trump Campaign Changes Slogan to “Make JavaScript Great Again”

NEW YORK — In a press conference held Wednesday afternoon, Trump Campaign Manager, Kellyanne Conway, announced the campaign would be changing their slogan to “Make JavaScript Great Again,” in order to capture much needed tech votes throughout the nation.

“Our JavaScript infrastructure is failing us. You look at any of these other languages. Developers, they’re coming from these other languages…they come in from Rust…Java, and they come into JavaScript and it looks like a third-world language. SAD,” tweeted Trump, following the announcement.

Trump has said throughout his campaign, that he believes he is the only person knowledgeable enough to fix JavaScript’s issues, while calling his opponent, “Memory-Leak Hillary.”

Trump critics, however, point to a series of newly revealed incidents that may be a major pain point for Trump’s campaign.

A 2005 code snippet leaked earlier this month that lists Trump and Billy Bush as main contributors, showed Trump had written SCSS that nested selectors more than 3 levels deep, despite complaints from the linter.

“No one has more respect for linters than I do.” — Trump

When confronted about the snippet, Trump dismissed the code as “JSFiddle programming,” adding “no one has more respect for linters than I do.”

Even more disturbing to voters, was Trump’s response to the question of if he would accept the results of the ECMAScript 2017 specification draft, to which Trump replied “I will keep you in suspense.”

Also looking to capture the tech vote, Trump’s opponent and Democratic nominee, Hillary Clinton, changed her campaign slogan to “I’m with Herlang.”

“Improving JavaScript and other languages, means embracing functional features found in amazing languages like Erlang,” said a Clinton spokesperson at a rally in Kansas City.

Throughout her campaign, Clinton has been a strong advocate for functional programing paradigms; however, Clinton’s largest opponents point to her use of a private Bitbucket server, her shaky past surrounding functional programming, and her husband’s involvement with imperative, C-style code in the mid 1990s.

Indeed, Clinton has not always been consistent with her support of functional programming paradigms. In a December 1999 New York Times interview, Clinton expressed support for mutability and imperative style declarations in code. However, as public support grew for functional programming, Clinton’s views began to change. In a recent interview with the New York Times, Clinton contradicted her past statements, saying, “Immutability and first-class functions are something that every language should have.”

Public distrust for Clinton has also grown due to Trump’s attacks against her and her supporters. Trump has accused Hillary of rigging the election and recently tweeted, “Memory-Leak Hillary created Windows ME.”♦