Talking to customers in the dating market
Insights from customers who have used online dating apps
Wednesday Night was started 3 months ago with the mission of reducing the amount of time and complexity involved in online dating.
I’ll summarize the past 3 months of findings, as well as customer feedback recently.
- Online dating today takes too much time and effort (“friction”). Dating sites that are free must generate revenue somehow, so it’s done through ad impressions—they make money whenever you view a new page. They are designed to take up as much of your time as possible to boost ad impressions, in the same way that casinos are meticulously designed to distort people’s sense of time to keep them playing longer. Lack of identity also drags out the messaging phase, more on that below.
- Our members have tried most of the apps out there. All of our users have tried at least one of the other major dating apps. All of them like the approach we’re taking with human matchmakers. Our typical user is a busy and successful professional; they don’t have a lot of time to commit to online courtship.
- Members enjoy the higher quality community. All new members must be manually approved by a matchmaker, and we actively suspend inactive accounts. This keeps the quality bar high and our users like to see this. We also collect payment information up front, which acts as a sort of quality filter. Most communities are policed (e.g. reddit has moderators), but we’re just going to be careful about who we let into this club right now.
- Mobile is important. We currently have no mobile presence, but customers want it. Our target release date for the iPhone app is October 1. We’ve hired Dominic Flask to lead all design and branding efforts on web and mobile. From the design spec: “too much technology is in the way of dating today, we just want people to focus on meeting and not let the phones, browsing, profiles, and messaging stand in the way of that.”
- Dating logistics: guys should pay for drinks and choose the location. Across the board, both guys and girls can agree that guys should be paying for drinks and choosing the location. This doesn’t necessarily mean that girls should be able to use the service free, but when going out, expenses should be covered by the guy initially.
A brief explanation about our biggest discovery: too much friction in dating
Why is dating so difficult today? There’s still a lot of anxiety in meeting someone off the Internet, even in 2013, and that’s primarily due to lack of identity. On one hand, people enjoy being anonymous on dating sites, but they don’t know with certainty who the other person is before meeting them. This creates a sort of Catch 22: you want to know who the other person is, but you don’t want to give up your identity first.
Because of the anonymity, messaging acts as a proxy for the girl to understand the guy before committing to meeting him in person. Messaging reveals his personality, sense of humor, intentions, and his ability—or lack thereof—to spell and compose full sentences with proper grammar. According to two female customers who also use OkCupid, “if you can compose sentences with proper spelling and grammar, you’re already in the top 5%.”
Several of our male customers said messaging isn’t as big of a problem if mutual attraction is already established, which is one thing Tinder gets right. However, only one person expressed interest in messaging other members through the app—our members don’t want to do that. There’s some mystery to it which both the guy and girl enjoys with Wednesday Night, and we think this is because they already feel comfortable and safe before going out to meet the other person.
The typical pattern of usage for online dating is:
- Create profile
- Edit profile
- Answer questionnaires
- Rate other users
- Browse profiles
- Send messages (the time sink)
- Schedule dates
- Repeat
There’s a funnel that emerges from step #6, the most time-consuming process. One key differentiator for us is the removal of the messaging phase. Our matchmakers handle #1-#8, with the exception of questionnaires which we don’t use. Customer feedback marked the ease of use and the lower time requirement as the single best thing about our service.
Let’s look at the messaging funnel. In this case, we’re looking at it from the perspective of the average single, straight male.
The funnel for men
You message 1,000 girls.
100 will respond to you.*
10 will meet you in person.
1-2 will be good matches.
* OkCupid officially claims the average is 25% will respond, and 30% of those responses will meet you. From people I’ve talked to, they pin it at 10% on average and 25% at the high end. My own experience is 10% response, 10% meet. There are no absolutes, but I think we could all agree: the process takes a lot of time and there is a funnel effect at work here.
“Free” as a facade: free in price, but not in time
You cannot escape the time or money requirement inherent in dating. “Free” is a facade in dating used to attract users, but the costs are high in time investment.
You’ll either invest an enormous amount of time, or you’ll invest money, but you will never be able to eliminate both. Tinder and Let’s Date are two newer examples of apps that are free and at least reduce some of the friction (mainly around the profile, but not on browsing or messaging), however they are not generating any revenue and will eventually be required to do that in order to sustain their business.
$50 per match seems about right for the price point to hire a matchmaker through us (which usually costs anywhere from $2,000 to $30,000), as long as we communicate the value, in order of importance:
- you’re meeting someone that you’re at least attracted to and vaguely interested in;
- your first round of drinks (up to $20) are free;
- our matchmakers put together a dating card for you and maintain it;
- it’s not a blind date;
- we take care of everything for you, including choosing the venue and booking the reservation.
Our customers have said the $50 price point for them is fine, but for most people it will probably be too high.
Customer feedback
We talked to 11 of our customers who have gone out and met other people through the service. The average call length was 30 minutes.
What’s the gender breakdown?
Male: 7
Female: 4
What other apps have they tried?
OkCupid: 11
Tinder: 7
Match: 5
Grouper: 2
HowAboutWe: 2
Let’s Date: 2
Hinge: 1
What phone do they use?
iPhone: 10
Android: 1
What did they like about using Wednesday Night?
Takes less time; easy to use: 8
Classy factor; users are higher quality: 6
Enjoys a human being involved: 4
More serious than casual dating apps: 4
Accountability: 1
Free: 1 (a girl that mentioned she likes the free round of drinks)
What did they dislike about using Wednesday Night?
Not enough information about the other person: 2 *
Cost too high: 2 **
Poor match made: 1
The other person didn’t want to go out with them again: 1
Went to same venue as the first date: 1
Wants a mobile app: 1
Unclear copy on home page: 1
Bad venue selection: 1
Lack of variety: 1
Drinks as first date: 1
Uncertainty about first date: 1 ***
* One of these was due to an early error which was since fixed
** Both admit that the value is there if it were explained more clearly on the home page
*** this was a very early date and we’ve since fixed this
If we required them to invite 2 single friends of the same sex during registration, would they do it?
No: 6
Yes, and they know which two friends: 4
Yes, but they’re not sure which friends: 1
Features wanted on a mobile application
Browse other member profiles and vote on them: 8
Choose the venue: 7 *
Manage their own dating card: 5
See all people who marked their own dating card as interesting: 3
Message people: 1 **
* Users expressed a preference for selecting from a list of recommendations.
** User prefers the ability to send a single note, rather than have back and forth dialogue.
Pricing structure
Pay $50 and get the first round of drinks free (up to $20): 6
Pay $20, no free round of drinks: 3
Likes the free round of drinks: 3
Want first round and lower price: 1
Who rates members (matchmaker, the user, or both)
Wants both to rate people and get suggestions from a matchmaker: 10
Wants the matchmaker to do the rating exclusively: 1
Who should pay for drinks?
Guys should pay: 8
Go Dutch (split it evenly): 3 *
* One guy said it was conditional on the girl’s occupation. If she has a lower income job, he would offer to pay for drinks.
Venue partnership
Explanation: we offer to pick up the tab, and nobody at the venue pays. The venue would charge us the full amount, and we would bill the guy’s card or split it evenly between the guy and girl. In other words, we’re offering to let the users avoid paying physically at the venue.
I like the idea of a partnership, and the guy would be billed the full amount later by Wednesday Night: 5
I like the idea of a partnership to avoid paying at the venue, but I want to split it evenly: 3
I’m impartial: 2
No, I want to pay at the venue: 1
When going out, do you want to choose the venue or be offered suggestions?
I want to choose from suggestions by the matchmaker: 11
Qualitive feedback
The following has undergone minor paraphrasing, and are not direct quotes.
Male, 26, Seattle
“I got out of a serious relationship 8 months ago, and I’ve met women from Tinder. I’m really good at messaging, and plus there’s mutual attraction established, so I don’t mind that part. On OkCupid, the power is in the woman’s hands because you’re in a competition to be witty and she has 50 other messages to churn through that day.This resembles bar rules: a girl gives you a look, then you’re more comfortable going over and talking to her. Follow real world rules when you can.”
“The 10% funnel for guys is true.”
“I like that you target upper tiers, addresses the quality problem in most dating apps.”
Female, 27, New York
“I don’t want to invite my friends up front because I’m that girl that’s looking for something, and it broadcasts neediness. They’re thinking, ‘oh great, she’s trying another one.’”
“The easier the app is to use, generally, the lower the bar, and the worse the people are.”
“I want the guy to suggest the place to go, I don’t want to be responsible for that.”
“What do girls really want? Lower volume. They get so many messages. I like that your matchmakers narrow it down—it has a mystical feel to it.”
“I’m a pseudo feminist, you can split the drinks and I’d be okay with that. But honestly, I really do want the guy to pay for the drinks. Most important to me is that there isn’t any ambiguity. Either have the guy pay, or split it, but set the expectation up front and make it clear.”
Male, 36, San Francisco
“Pros: quality of matches, great communication, smooth process.”
“Cons: cost needs to be explained better, follow up after first date missing, more matches, and no mobile app.”
“If this is like Tinder, I won’t use it. It has to have real people. If you start messaging people, you don’t usually end up meeting. I just care about meeting people.”
“I want to know if the girl wants to go out again. I didn’t like not knowing that, and you guys can help figure that part out.”
Male, 25, San Francisco
“I want to only go within 2 miles of my apartment. The Mission is 4-5 miles away, but Marina and surrounding areas are okay.”
“I’m not good at texting the girl. I’d rather just meet up. Maybe an ability to send a note, and they can send a reply, but no more beyond that.”
“Consider having the matchmaker make suggestions on what to change or fix if too many girls pass on a guy’s dating card.”
“Ensure that girls don’t use older photos on Facebook, maybe set a limit on 2 years.”
Male, 34, New York
“Online dating comes down to how much effort you put into it.”
“Letting the user fiddle with the dating card may conflict with your goals. You guys are the experts, right? Maybe if I want to make a change, you have to approve it or something.”
“For venue selection: give me some categories or options, and I’ll choose from there. I do want to choose, but I don’t want to start from scratch.”
“I just want to meet up with people—keeping it mysterious is good. I don’t want to think about messaging beforehand. Just show up and get it going. Maybe send a short note before the date to say what you’re wearing so they can quickly identify you. You’re allowed to say you’re running late.”
“I trust your matchmakers to make good matches for me. I’d like to see more information about them—not to judge, but because I’m curious.”
“You guys should be the Uber for dating. Make it a badass experience and just handle everything for the customer.”
“Follow up with the girl to see if she’s up for another date, and then suggest a follow-on date to me.”
Female, 24, San Francisco
“Inviting friends? I don’t mind, but I don’t want to do it on my phone. Send me an e-mail and I’ll do it later on my computer.”
“It might be cool to upload newer photos to the profile, such as from Outside Lands. Maybe connect Instagram or be able to upload photos from my camera.”
“It’s all a big surprise when you meet the guy without talking to them first. Sending a note would work though: maybe the girl clicks a button to confirm with the guy, and that sends him a confirmation.”
Female, 32, San Francisco
“I know in the first 10-15 minutes if there’s a connection.”
“The ratings and ‘compatibility’ of sites like OkCupid are not very reliable.”
“It’d be nice to have advice on how I should present myself on the dating card, if I were the one to edit it.”
“I want the guy to suggest the venue, but it’d be nice if I had options to select from. I’m worried that it would be somewhere uncomfortable or sketchy. I also don’t want to go to places I usually go to and run into friends.”
“There’s a nice element of mystery of not talking to the person before meeting them. The note idea is good.”
“I like the free drinks. It takes out the awkwardness if there’s not mutual chemistry. However, I would follow the rule to split the tab evenly—I just don’t want ambiguity. First date, you don’t want to deal with that as an extra stressor.”
Male, 32, Boston
“Is the price too high? I don’t think so. Should you break down the price? Nobody cares about the cost breakdown, it’s all about value. You’re setting them up with a cute girl, there’s a matchmaker, free drinks, I get it.”
“If you charge me $20 to use this thing, it’s going to feel so cheesy. I mean, $20 is way too low. I’m expecting something great, so charge me for that.”
“Be opinionated in what you’re doing. I want to believe you guys—you’re the professionals here. You make the calls.”
“Message through the app? Sure, maybe 1 or 2 days before at most. I don’t want to spend a lot of time messaging.”
“Tinder was interesting, lots of back and forth messaging, but didn’t connect with anyone. Let’s Date, met nobody. Match sucks, but it wins because it has volume. OkCupid does a lot of things right: style, tone, fun, mechanics (you get elevated to a better pool), e-mail marketing.”
“Design the e-mails better. Build a lust factor. Make a mobile responsive layout, and showcase the girls. Tell me ‘we hand-selected these recommendations for you.’ Also, the e-mails you send don’t say ‘why this is a good match.’”
Male, 27, San Francisco
“Stagger the registration. If you invite 2 friends, get a reward. If they sign up, get another reward. Don’t make it required.”
“Dating is weird—you won’t spam your friends. You will invite 1 or 2 people at most. 10 though? No way, not at all.”
“I want cadence: tell me I’ll get something every Wednesday night, like 2 matches or something. But I don’t know right now what the pattern is, or when I’ll hear back from my matchmaker.”
“I like not needing to have a conversation, or doing the ‘dance’ before meeting. I just want to meet people.”
“I don’t have a problem paying $50 personally, but I think it’s too high for most people. I’d prefer to pay $20 and skip the free drinks, but I’ll pay a fee like $5 to guarantee a reservation or a seat at a restaurant or bar if you can find one to do that.”
Female, 37, Seattle
“The matchmakers are what set you guys apart and I love that. Everyone wants that.”
“If I knew that the guys wanted to split the bill, I would probably not invite my 2 girlfriends to join the service. They’d want the guy to pay.”
