Build Your Professional Network Quickly and Easily With These Simple Tips
You know you have to do it eventually. You keep reading articles talking about the importance of building your network. Whether you are looking for a new job, trying to find new clients for your consulting business, trying to raise money for your startup, or trying to sell a product, your network is where you will find the right people to talk to.
But you’re terrified to get started. You are uncomfortable attending events, worried that networking is too difficult and awkward. It’s intimidating!
Networking does not have to be an awful experience, or a waste of time. In fact, if it ever feels that way, you’re probably doing it wrong. Networking should be fun, easy, and enjoyable.
Here’s the way to build your network that’s genuine, professional, effective, and most importantly, fun. Follow these tips, and I promise you will very quickly begin to pack your network with smart, interesting people who are genuinely interested in helping you succeed.
Who To Look For
Have A Few Personas In Mind.
You definitely don’t want to have just anyone in your network. Your network should reflect your ideal professional environment, at least loosely. So it is probably a good idea to have some kind persona in mind for the kinds of people you want to connect with.
Maybe they are people with similar jobs or roles. Maybe they are prospective customers. Maybe they are folks you would want as mentors. Maybe they are just people who know a lot of other people. Take some time to jot down criteria for whom you want to connect with. You don’t need to show these notes to anyone; just write it down in order to keep it front of mind for yourself.
On the other hand, don’t filter people out of your networking efforts too quickly, just because they aren’t an exact match to your criteria. It turns out that most of the value you’ll get from your network are not from your first line of connections, the people you know personally. Rather, much of the value will be the people they know, the second line of connections. For that reason, it’s good to keep an open mind about whom you are reaching out to. You never know where a good opportunity will come from.
Don’t Network With People You Don’t Like.
As you apply the techniques below, you will meet lots of new people. And I will show you how to be genuine in presenting yourself, and how to stay in contact with them. However, there is no obligation to stay in contact with every single person you meet. I am very intentional about adding new people to my network all the time. But I only network with people I actually like.
You can’t force a genuine personal connection with every person. If you are not feeling particularly into the person you’re talking to, that is a strong signal that you should not have this person in your network. My “gut-check” rule is that if I had a free hour to kill, would I actually enjoy spending it having a drink or taking a walk with this person — with no expectation of future benefit? In other words, is it enjoyable to just spend my time and talk to them? If not, this person is totally not for me.
If I were to try to add people to my network whom I didn’t particularly feel good about, I would subconsciously tend to avoid that person anyway. So, why bother trying to force it?
Where To Find Them
Meet People Where They Are.
You can meet people online or at events. Either works well when done right, and I try to do both pretty consistently.
Look for events that are relevant to your field. There are a dizzying array of events in most cities that you can find on Meetup.com or Eventbrite. Don’t be afraid to wander a little out of your comfort zone. Find events for subjects that you are interested in, even if they don’t fit your professional field exactly. Again, you never know where new opportunities will come from.
Also, it’s probably ideal to attend events periodically where there is no one else like you there. You’ll have a lot more unique perspective to add to the conversation that way. So, if you’re a data engineer looking to do a startup, being at an event full of designers, or marketers, might be a great compliment.
When you attend an event, don’t try to make a connection with everyone there. It’s much easier, and more authentic, to simply chat with the people you bump into naturally. In line for refreshments, or sitting waiting for a speaker to start talking? Great, just chat with the person next to you. Remember, it’s not so important that they themselves be the perfect connection. Instead, it’s best to position yourself as someone they would feel comfortable introducing to their friends and colleagues.
Pro Tip: If you do attend an event where you can get access to the guest list in advance, do a little checking on LinkedIn ahead of time to see who you want to meet. It’s even worth it to send those people a connection request ahead of the event, saying that you’ll be there too, and that you’d like to meet in person. It’ll give you an easier way to start talking to people, because you’ll already have a list of people to look for when you get there.
Cold Email (and LinkedIn) is Totally OK.
Proactively reach out to people on LinkedIn. Really. It’s OK to reach out to people you have no organic connection to. Referrals are always better ways to meet people, of course. But there is a very easy and genuine way to make new connections out of the blue.
I receive a few LinkedIn connection requests out of the blue every day, mostly due (I suspect) to the writing that I share around the Internet (like this piece). I generally will accept any LinkedIn connection request that comes from an individual who appears to be remotely in my industry (which, even there, I define quite broadly as tech, innovation, coaching, social impact, or startups).
When I receive a request, I usually invite the person to a brief call to get to know them, and see how I can be helpful. Yes, I would like to see how they can be helpful to me as well. But I lead with being helpful first (more on that below). Over the years, I’ve developed a good number of friends from LinkedIn, people I talk to regularly and share ideas with, whom I have never actually met in person. That’s just how the world is these days, and we’d better get used to it.
Ask Your Existing Network.
Finally, why not ask your existing contacts for introductions to people you don’t know? I periodically reach out to old friends and colleagues just to see how they’re doing. This is a great opportunity to give them an update on my business and my focus, and to see if they have any new contacts they’d want to connect me to. Use your notes from your persona (above) to describe to your contacts what kind of person you want to meet.
I find that most people I advise or coach have great networks already. They just aren’t really making good use of them! Go through your existing list again, especially if you haven’t for a while, and see who’s actually there. You might be surprised!
How To Connect and What To Say
Be Genuinely Curious About People.
Don’t be a “Taker.” Adam Grant has an excellent book, Give and Take, that talks about the difference between Givers and Takers. In it, he provides ample research data that people with a genuine pay-it-forward giving approach tend to be more successful and happier in the long run. Concretely, these are people are willing to help you out and ask nothing in return. The book is filled with great examples, and plenty of hard data too. I make an effort to be more of a Giver than a Taker pretty much at all times. But especially when networking.
Ask More Questions Than You Answer.
People like to talk about themselves. There is a great party hack (backed by social psychology research) that I have always found funny. When you ask people about themselves a lot at a party, they strangely tend to remember you as an interesting person! Seriously, they really do!
The same effect is in play with networking. Once you get on a call with a new contact, make sure to ask them a lot questions — relevant questions. Find out about their current situation. Find out what their problems or challenges are. And ask them how you can be helpful.
Always Have Your Ask Ready.
There is no point to networking if you don’t have some kind of ask. I mean, sure it’s nice to just meet new people. But, everyone is busy, and so the call should have some kind of purpose. Be sure to have your “ask” ready for them.
But, it’s even better if you beat them to it. I nearly always begin wrapping up the call by first asking them what, if anything, I can do to be helpful. Are they looking for certain kinds of people to meet? Do they want new book or article recommendations to read? Do they have a product or service they would like me to spread the word about? By asking them first, I achieve two goals at one stroke. 1) I learn something more about what is important to them. 2) I create what psychologists call reciprocity. That is, by asking them what they need, they then feel obligated to ask me the same question. That creates an opening for me to make my little pitch. It works great! And it’s not creepy at all, it’s just how humans work. We actually WANT to be helpful to one another.
I like to connect new people I meet to others who would be good for them to meet. So, I usually spend a few minutes after each call, making some notes, and then looking to see if there is anyone I can connect them to, regardless of what their actual ask was. But of course I try to help them with that as well.
Don’t Forget To Follow up.
Nobody likes a flake. You’ve just had an amazing conversation with an interesting new person. You even went through the trouble of asking them if there is anything they need that you can help with. They then went through the trouble to explain it to you. Don’t drop the ball!
Always, always, always follow up with something. Even an email a few days later, thanking them for the call, reminding them of what they asked you for, and admitting that you don’t have anything for them right now, is better than just leaving it as a loose thread. That’s the worst case scenario, and yet it still shows that you care. Even better would be if you can find a relevant article that might help with their problem, and send that along instead.
In short, you want to be remembered as a caring person who is generally helpful. That will greatly increase your perceived value in the network.
Conclusion
Networking is part of being human. We’re social creatures, and we enjoy meeting new people and helping others. If you go about it with an open mind and an open heart, it will end up being a lot more enjoyable and a lot less stressful. The key is to have a clear sense of who you are and what you can offer, and to remember to ask them about themselves, and always follow up.
Go ahead and try these tips, and reach out to me and let me know how they worked for you. In fact, start by sending me a LinkedIn request right now! :)
Happy networking!
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