Darwinism
As any other child, my parents decided which school I went. With this decision they also “decided” with which kids I would spend most of my time for the first 12 years of my life.
Its very important to understand this. We sit down for 12 years (hopefully: kindergarden, elementary school, high school) next to the same people and society tell us: “they will be your old time friends, some would be your best friends, keep them”.
The ironic about this is that we haven’t consciously take the decision of being among them or even stick to them. Because we play, get educate, and experience life with them we mentally accept them as part of our life. We obviously get to known them very well but it doesn’t mean we are the correct fit.
I believe in Darwinism of Friendship. In the fact that we need to get out of pre selected groups and interact with other people (if possible very different from those who you have grow up with). Why? Because I believe that the principles of natural selection of Darwin applies also to our social behavior.
If we could choose who to spend our time with we will choose does who are not only alike us but with who we “click”. If we give ourselves the opportunity, we will choose along our life (our personal evolution) those that we feel best comfortable with and we will lost touch with others. There is a social selection of friendship due to our unique natural quality as humans.
I’n my personal experience I spend the first 18 years of my life with the same 10 guys (very small catholic school). I love each one of them. I know them and they know me. I will always be there for them and I know they will be for me.
But Darwin decided that we are not a correct fit for each other. We are different. Practice different sport, discuss about politic ideas, have study completely different things and have taken life decisions that have push us apart from each other (maybe its just me and they are all still seeing each other, I doubted).
When I first decided to break out of my group (social pressure tells you to keep in touch with them), I felt alone and thought I will never find other good friends. But we are social animals in our essence and I found those that were a better fit for me.
I’m still in touch with my “old friends”, see each other and laugh about the experiences we lived together. Memories will always makes us happy and bring us back to that moments where we all were best friends and we had a blast. I actually miss them some times. Maybe I don’t tell them enough.
But I’m also very happy to have found new best friends. Those that “click” when we talk and that is seems we are always mentally connected. Moments of happiness and sadness seemed more natural, more real.
PS: Forgive my grammar, English second language, hate correct stuff that sound good in my head ☺
