Intergenerational homes increase in pandemic age
STATE COLLEGE, Pa. — It was hot and humid, standard fare for Colombia, but Shreyas Sundar didn’t mind — it was spring break in 2020. Wanderlust struck him at every corner of the tropical country.
That didn’t last long. News spread that the COVID-19 pandemic had reached the U.S. in March of that year, with a lockdown imminent. It was time for Sundar to go home.
Home for Sundar wasn’t just the United States however, it was his childhood home with his parents as well — a situation many students across the nation found themselves in.
As a year of the pandemic comes to a close, and as many students have adapted to the ‘new normal’ of living with their parents, old stigma still persists while new effects of the pandemic emerge.
Data from the Pew Research Center shows that 52% of young adults live with either one or both of their parents since July of 2020.
For Penn State students that have moved in with their parents, the college experience can be very different. And because of the pandemic restrictions, even those that had been living at home notice a change.
“It felt like a post college experience,” said Sundar, a third-year Penn State student, who lived at home in State College. “My classes didn’t feel like classes, I’d forget that they existed from time to time.”
Sundar moved in with his parents directly after he returned from his spring break vacation in March of 2020. Before, he had always either lived on campus or in an apartment. The change not only affected his college perspective, but his social one as well.
“The social scene of course is dead,” Sundar said.
Sundar lost touch with some of the friends he made in early 2020, but has reconnected with older ones, albeit through a screen.
“For the most part it’s a lot of texting,” Sundar said. “I’m someone who gets drained very easily, so for me, responding and keeping up responses to everyone sometimes diminishes the level to which that conversation has value to me.”
Because of his extended time in the home he grew up in, Sundar has rediscovered some old habits. For instance, he’s fallen into the routine of pre-dawn homework sessions and long-lasting YouTube binges, but has also grown closer to his parents as they.
As time with his parents extended, Sundar found himself not just talking with them about school but how they themselves were doing.
“I think I’ve become a lot closer with them,” Sundar said. “Oftentimes, especially in East Asian or Asian cultures, you don’t hug your dad. I was able to reach some kind of emotional hesitation between me and my dad such that we do that. . . All of us have been more open to one another.”
Ben Rudnik, a third-year Penn State student that lived at home in State College before the pandemic has also found that his relationship with his parents has solidified.
“I think we’ve always been close,” Rudnik said. “There’s some people who would say ‘I couldn’t do that’ [live with their parents, but for me it’s pretty normal. I don’t mind being at home.”
Rudnik spent his first semester at Penn State living on campus, but moved home after. He feels that living at home is more convenient, but has found some social obstacles since the pandemic began.
“I’d at least go out once a week before hand, and since then I’ve completely stopped that. . . It was definitely different getting in contact [with friends] again,” Rudnik said.
The college experience of being at home and online has prompted Rudnik to consider considering transitioning completely online through Penn State’s World Campus.
“It was something I thought about for a while,” Rudnik said. “There’s just definitely a little bit of anxiety going back to campus.”
Rudnik doesn’t want to risk bring COVID-19 home to his parents, and also thinks an online schedule would make his work as the inventory manager at Ace Hardware easier, though he most likely will stay at University Park.
Rudnik also acknowledges the social stigma in the U.S. of living at home with his parents, and thinks the perspective is outdated.
“I feel like the stigma for the most part is gone,” Rudnik said. “I think it will just become more common . . . Besides the stigma, why not? What’s stopping you from staying until you’re 21?”
Bella Longo, a third year student at Penn State who lived both at her Maryland home and college apartment, agrees. Since she spent equal parts at home and in her apartment, Longo was able to see both pandemic experiences.
While she does believe that the pandemic took academic and social opportunities from those that stayed at home, she still thinks that the time spent with family is necessary and could break down the cultural barriers.
“I feel there is potential for [the stigma] to go away,” Longo said. “The opportunity to be around family more has opened the eyes of younger adults to see the value in things and to appreciate being with family more.”
Petr Esakov, a third-year student at Penn State that has lived at his State College home his entire college career, disagrees about the stigma ever leaving.
“I think it’s temporarily gone away, [but] I think it’s going to come back,” Esakov said.
But that doesn’t bother Esakov. He’s more concerned with accruing debt and said he “doesn’t mind dealing with some stigma in order to save a large amount of money.”
Esakov lives in the basement apartment of his parents’ house with his girlfriend, meaning that there is more separation than usual for students that live at home.
The idea of living at home also doesn’t worry him too much. He plans to move out either after he graduates or during his fourth year.
What has worried and troubled Esakov however, is keeping in touch with friends during the pandemic.
“It’s definitely harder to reach out to friends. I’m very much like an opportunist socially,” Esakov said. “It’s a lot easier to run into friends on campus, it’s right at the forefront of your mind, but when the lines get blurred between Zoom and work you just run out of time.”
Despite this, he has improved his relationship with his parents and is glad for that experience.
“I think I’ve become at peace with the living situation,” Esakov said.
