First year PPE student yet to realise economics gets harder
By Louis Altena
First year PPE and soon to be second year Arts student Jonathan Bradley has failed to realise that ECON1010 isn’t the most difficult subject he will ever do, PPE insiders have said.
After attending a private school where he was walked through all assessment items by his highly paid teachers, Jonathan decided that once he was rejected from BAFE, a Bachelor of PPE would set him up perfectly to achieve his dream of being a career politician.
When asked where his passion for politics came from, despite not really knowing the names of the different parties, Jonathan didn’t hesitate to respond:
“I just really care about social issues like gay marriage, and uh, like the economy and stuff. I think both sides of politics are kinda dumb, and like I reckon politicians lie a lot so if I was a politician, I wouldn’t really do that. I’d be like heaps honest.”
“After all, I don’t wanna become one of those soulless BAFE robots.”
Unfortunately for Jonathan, his current study plan of getting smashed at the RE six nights a week has thus far failed to generate the academic success he was hoping for. Sitting at what Jonathan labelled “a solid GPA 4” for both ECON1010 and ECON1020, it is highly unlikely that his stunning charisma will be enough to get him through the later, more difficult economics courses — a fact Jonathan is yet to realise.
When asked about his poor performance in his economics subjects, the aspiring hack offered a clear explanation:
“Yeah like I kinda forgot the mid-sem was on until like an hour before, so I got really drunk the night before ay. I was probably still drunk during the exam” he said between fits of laughter.
“I reckon if I got a good night’s sleep or whatever I woulda smashed it though,” he told reporters despite not even attempting the mid-semester practice exam.
Intriguingly, Jonathan isn’t letting his poor GPA stop him from strongly considering a major in the degree’s only employable field — economics.
“Yeah, I just reckon if I like study heaps, I can probably manage to get through it aye. I got like a SA3 in Maths B in high school but like that’s just cause I didn’t really care about studying or whatever,” he explained.
“It could be worse. I heard someone in our cohort is thinking of majoring in philosophy. How hopeless are they?” he chuckled before submitting his incomplete PHIL1110 assignment three days late.
Many thanks to Mark Land, for the photo permission. If nothing else, this might prove your sense of humour is better than ours.
