Stella Diaries 1: First Impression

They say when you are close to dying, your entire life flashes in front of your eyes. If that is true then there is no doubt that I am dying, as soon as my executioner finishes the recording he is making.

I know I am banged up pretty bad because I see all my memories in pencil sketches

I have regrets that I will never admit having — there are situations that could have been handled more elegantly.

or more delicately

Overall, I have no remorse about becoming who I am. There is just one thing creeping on the back of my mind.

Nagging. Giving me no rest…

It tells me that of the three things I promised myself I would never do, I have committed the worst.

My captors call me a bitch but they have no idea

I was 12 when they made an impression on me, when they came promoting their summer camp.

I bet none of my former 32 classmates remember that day as clearly as I do. I bet they do not remember what they were wearing. I do. That day would be a great point my life’s timeline. There was definitely a life before and a life after that particular day.

They were two, a man and a woman, and they did not talk about The Force or the Global Alliance, but we all knew who they came representing in their neat black suits, black shirts and navy blue ties and we could certainly identify the fancy Force logo at the end of the last page of the brochure.

Recruiting the young, they will later call it. Nevertheless, I liked the woman. She looked like someone who could take care of herself. I knew immediately that I would do anything to become like the woman standing in front of me.

I wondered if the force was in effect 20 years ago and if my aunt had gone to one of those summer camps, would she still be alive. If she had such opportunity, there was no doubt in my mind that she had been able to defend herself, when the three men came after her that one night, raped and killed her.

Attending their summer camp felt vital, and it was frustrating because I knew my parent s wouldn’t approve.