A Homeschooled Student’s Journey to Falling in Love with Math
Not why, but how it happened.
In algebra, things are standing still.
In calculus, they start to move.
In differential equations, they move in multiple directions simultaneously.
In discrete mathematics, we finally start to think.
Before algebra, there are no “things”, only the horrible beast that is long division by hand. And I can’t really tell you what happens after discrete math and diff eq, because I haven’t gotten there yet. I do know, though, that I’m going to get there soon enough, because math is my chosen course of study, and this fall I’ll be going a few classes deeper in.
What I want to reflect on in today’s article is how I came to choose math as my major and how my view of the subject has changed since I’ve begun my formal studies. This includes exploring the effects of my ten years of homeschool education on my journey thus far, as well as seeing how my perspective on mathematics has changed every time I’ve embarked upon a new math class.
And why now? In honor of STEM First! Gen.’s one-year anniversary as a Medium publication! A somewhat belated honor due to the time spent writing the article, but nonetheless the perfect time to reflect on how STEM (or the M, at least) came to mean so much to me.
MATH AT HOME
Math was far from my favorite subject as a kid. I wasn’t drawn to numbers in any special way; I was a reader, through and through, to a degree where getting me to do anything else at all was an effort.
That wasn’t a problem, for the most part. It meant that my parents could provide me with a stack of educational magazines and leave me to my own devices, and rest assured that I’d be regurgitating the articles at the dinner table later. Other aspects of my education, of course, required a more hands-on approach.
This included math; at a set time each day, my siblings and I would sit and practice our newest mathematical knowledge in math workbooks, under the supervision of our dad, for an hour or so.
Now, while math wasn’t yet a love of mine, I was still fairly quick with it, and soon outpaced what my dad could help me through. I was encouraged to turn to the internet to further my knowledge, and worked my way through many hours of videos and quizzes.
If all this sounds pretty tedious, that’s because it was. This is not the kind of math education that leads to as passion for the subject. In that sense, I wasn’t any better off than public school kids, who had to endure a similar tedium.
Other subjects seemed much more intriguing. I devoured books and videos on chemistry, and still do. From fourteen to sixteen, I was seriously considering becoming a chemist.
PUBLIC SCHOOL PRECALCULUS
Having been homeschooled for nine years, and knowing that I was to start community college in one short year’s time, at fifteen I decided to supplement my homeschooling by signing up for four classes at my local public high school to get some experience just with being in a classroom. I took English II and U.S. History I, since I was of sophomore age, as well as chemistry and precalculus.
Let’s ignore the first two. Suffice to say no one in those classes actually learned any English or history and I found my faith in public schooling diminished. The second two had far more of an impact.
My chemistry class was easy, mostly because of my previous experience. I did labs for the first time, which I did not enjoy at all. Turns out I like the theory of chemistry far more than its practice.
Then there was precalculus. That was a class that went hard from day one, but wasn’t actually all that difficult — just voluminous. It felt effortless and fun, but still busy. I could see how much I was learning. Plus, I discovered that I had a much easier time learning from an actual teacher. It was the class I looked forward to most each day.
The end of that school year was swallowed up by the outbreak of the coronavirus and remote learning, but the experience had already fundamentally altered my outlook on mathematics. Now, I wasn’t just good at it. Math was a subject I was growing to enjoy.
TWO SEMESTERS DOWNHILL FROM THERE
The next stop in my education was community college. I didn’t have any lightbulb moment where I was like, “Math! That’s the major for me!” Rather, I chose math as my major because I was good at it, I liked it, and I wasn’t certain what I actually wanted to do. The great thing about math is that it’s so widely applicable that choosing it opened more doors than it closed.
So, fall 2020: I started my college math journey with calculus I, and it was terrible. The remote learning technology was still completely new, and out of all my classes calculus was the least compatible with being remote. I paid $600 to teach myself calculus from the textbook, and the class finished far behind where we should have been.
Picked myself up, dusted off, moved on to calculus II.
Still remote, but by that time (spring 2021) everyone, students and instructors, had had a semester to learn how remote learning worked. I probably would have enjoyed it except for two things:
- I spent the first month of the semester playing catch-up from calc I.
- I took physics I at the same time, a class notorious at the school because on 1/3 of students pass it the first time.
I made it through all right. I wasn’t doubting my choice of major, but I wasn’t loving it either, and I was wondering if all of college was going to be this bad.
ONE SEMESTER STEEP UPHILL
Like much, much better.
My major classes my third semester were calculus III, physics II, and discrete mathematics. I was gearing up for a serious four-month-long grind, but I already knew that the semester would be an improvement. Why? Because we were learning in person at last!
Physics II was way better than physics I. About half of the students were expect to pass, plus I knew what I was getting myself into this time. So even though the material was harder, I was far better equipped to handle it. Finally, I could begin to develop some confidence in my academic ability, as I was no longer constantly rocked by challenges.
My calculus III professor was excellent, the best I could have asked for. It’s a hard course to take as a student, but also incredibly difficult to teach due to the sheer amount of material. For me, it was perfect. Finally, I was able to enjoy a calculus class as I learned exciting new math.
In discrete math, I met the professor whom everyone raved about. I often joined him for a late evening coffee in his office after class. I also joined the Math Club, and made friends in my major. Finally, I found connection and encouragement.
It was, without a doubt, my hardest semester. I took on too much. My workload was far too heavy, and I struggled. But the quality of my college life improved drastically nevertheless. Even better, my perspective on mathematics underwent another shift.
Math was no longer my major because I didn’t know what I wanted. It was my major because I knew that math was what I wanted.
THOUGHTS ON MOVING ON
This past semester, my last at community college, I took only one major class, differential equations, with my old discrete math professor, one of the dreaded 8AMs. The group of students that congregated in his office after class called ourselves the coffee club.
I started peer tutoring, inspired by the confidence that had grown from the previous semester’s pressure. Turns out, I’d learned way more than I realized in the challenging year and a half that had gone by, and I was able to help other students by passing what I knew on.
And then I graduated (summa cum laude!), adorned in stoles, pins, and tassels. I’m readying myself now for the difficult transition between colleges, but I’m excited instead of afraid, thanks to everything I’ve learned about myself and my subject in two years that I didn’t know before.
You may have read my piece “Why Math?” before, in which I discussed my reasons for loving the field. But there’s more to that love than a list can describe, really more than I can articulate.
There’s another dimension, one that comes from how deeply mathematics has been woven into my personal journey. I’m hoping this reflection has explained that dimension to some degree, how mathematics has brought challenge and growth, and how my passion for math has come as the product of all of these experiences.
So happy birthday, STEM First! Gen. Thank you for letting me borrow your milestone to reflect on my own. Readers, tell us about your STEM journey in the comments!
Thanks for reading! If you’d like to read my similar works, check out “Why Math?” and “Ending My Community College Era”.
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