5 Minute Review of `Tinder Gold`

Today marks the release of Tinder Gold and my jaw drops as I just can’t wait to see all the hotties who already liked me. But really, this is one of those slippery slopes that makes the magic of the app go away. Milk it dry they say as they turn something which used to have some intrigue into a meat mill.

But then again, tinder was already a meat mill. A butcher shop of sorts — waiting for your insides to be strewn across the table as woman after woman swipes left.

There’s something to it though, the pictures, the automatic swipe right swipe left that leaves you wondering “Who is it that actually likes me?”

Here we can capitalize on the true gold — Insecurity. For what purchases aren’t made with this as the intrisntic motivation? If I look at my history of amazon nick nacks and subscriptons to services I never once visited again I have to admit, trying to fill that void played a mighty big part.

So now to the OKCupid driven hole which is the interenet dating world comes true Gold — making as much money as possible from an that already just generates really bad relationships, mediocre sex, but great great stories.

“Remember that one woman you met who told you she just wanted to fuck, and then tried to introduce you to her mom the first time you picked her up”

Maybe I need to work on my profile, or maybe my profile needs to work on me!

I hope that when I upgrade (because duh, I am DEFINITELY upgrading to Tinder Gold) I see who out there already liked me based on my topless ab-laden profile photo (which I a also using on other dating sites) so I can at least get a somewhat accurate reflection of the world. No more intrigue but a lot more truth.

Now what if, instead I just took of this black t-shirt and strut my stuff own the streets of San Francisco during Pride instead? It may be a bit vulnerable but I could probably meet the same group of people.

But hell, lets go gold.