Owning My Moment

A reflection on Sundays.

This was so hard to write, because I’m not sure where I was going with this. Then again, I remembered, that sometimes I don’t need to know where I’m going — I just need to trust that there’s a reason why You led me here in the first place.

There is a reason why God has given you what He has given you, and why you are where you are today, surrounded by the people around you.

Right after graduation, I was in an abyss of uncertainty. There were just so many things that I do not have an answer to.

What am I going to do next? Where should I be — should I use my 1 year of OPT, or should I go back home to Indonesia?

As the question piled up and formed a mountain, I asked myself, what can’t I live with? At the time, the only certainty that I have, was that I want to live in New York City.

So, logically, with no job offer, and no tangible prospect in the horizon, I packed up my things and set off to a new adventure.

This is pretty crazy.

The day that I scheduled my move, an opportunity opened up on Glassdoor, a chance to be a Digital Marketing Intern over at charity: water. Ever since college, I’ve always loved and adored the organization, I thought that if I were to ever have a dream place to work in, c:w would be it. I literally started smiling, and told my friends as we packed, that if this was not a sign from God — I really don’t know what is.

Side Note: When this all happened, I had not gone to church in a while. Nor had I even mentioned or uttered anything related to God in … quite some time.

Scared (but also undeniably excited) I decided to apply for the position. Everything just fell into place, much like a puzzle piece. The whole process (from applying up until getting a decision back) took maybe about 2 weeks or so. Which is very quick, given that I had been trying to get something for a little while.

Thus far, the experience has been priceless. I am surrounded by amazing people who does amazing things. Every. Single. Day. There are so many stories, so many lessons — and I would love to share them with you one day.

Parallel to that, I was also interviewing for other startups and companies. I found one that I loved, with a founder whom I know I can learn a lot from. After the interview with him, I told my friends — my perfect world: I will be able to work for both organization. I don’t know how. But that would be my perfect world.

And somehow, that’s what I ended up with.

Working for two very different organizations, under very different conditions, and serving very different markets, I was often asked which position do I like better. And I am very happy that I can honestly, genuinely, undoubtedly say that I love both.

I love the startup because I am given the liberty and the freedom to create and express what I’ve learned thus far, to explore passions that I’ve always had but never had the courage to actually try, and to learn and work alongside an individual who always strives for excellence.

I love charity: water because I can learn from amazing people who does amazing things, understand what it means to have your vision embedded in the culture of an organization, and practice excellence at its most granular level.

Every day, I am reminded, that I am here for a reason, and that He has put me here for a reason. And although there are days when I’m unsure of what I’m doing, I am always reminded to be grateful to be where I am at today.

Owning the moment means understanding the nature of where you are right now and accepting it.

Then, and only then can you take action.

I thought long and hard about this. And I must admit, sometimes I don’t want to know where I am right now — nor do I want to accept it. Because accepting it means acknowledging that there is something wrong with me.

My Confession

I can’t pinpoint when exactly, but sometime last year I started partying. And around the same time, slowly but very steadily, I started abandoning church. Somehow, I always found a reason to not come on Sundays, but always managed to show up on Thursday, Friday, and Saturday night.

Looking back, I really don’t know how, but I really did think that it was okay. That I was okay.

Just so we’re clear: I don’t think that partying is wrong. I actually do still enjoy partying and drinking from time to time. But I no longer crave it the way I used to. And now I know where my priorities lie, and where I should commit my time to.

When I moved to NYC, I admitted that something was wrong, that I want to go back to God — and this is what happened.

God’s Solution

Remember that, this also requires you to have a realistic view of who you are, and a ridiculous supernatural view of who God is and what He can do.

Luckily, there is a friend who just moved here to New York from LA. She always made it so easy to go to church, to come to youth groups, and just in general are always up to talk about our current struggles and where we are at right now with Him.

And then there is a friend from NY who re-introduced me to Hillsong, who showed me that you can always make time, and reminded me that it’s never too late to go back to Him.

And then there is a couple based in NYC who just started a bi-weekly life group. We are currently discussing Craig Groeschel book, The Christian Atheist, which is also pretty darn amazing.

Everything just came to place, once again. And I must admit, it is most definitely not of who I am, but of who God is.

Don’t wait for your season to end, passionately occupy it until God opens another door. On that note, don’t pray for a way out, pray for a way to dig in.

After all, there really is no time like today.

I must admit, that this resonated less with me now than it probably did before. Probably because I really do love it here, and it’s more like I don’t really want my season to end here.

But I think that this is a very important reminder that we are not always going to be 100% happy about where we’re at in life. However it is exactly in these moments, where we should turn back to God and ask Him to help us, so that we can own our moment and make a difference in people and places that we can.

Many thanks to Pastor Carl Lentz from Hillsong NYC, for having a way with words, and framing things in a way that clicks both in my brain & in my heart. If you are not based in NYC, but would love to know more about Owning Your Moment, you can buy the book here.