Are guys everything?
Don’t give your heart to just anyone
When I had my first heartbreak, I was fifteen. My mom was by my side the whole time. One thing I remember her saying was, “Honey, if he can’t see that you are fantastic, then he just wasn’t worth it, I know it’s hard to go through heartbreak, but in the end, it’s worth it because you will find the one that meant for you. I know it will take a while, but it is worth the wait. Just promise you won’t let someone break your heart, it took nine months to make, don’t let them break it in a second.”
My little sister Ella always says, “If he can’t stand the attitude and the sassiness then, he isn’t strong enough for a woman like you.” She declared, “You might have a strong independent personality, but you are still human, you still deserve someone that doesn’t think you are a burden.” Plus, she continued, “he looked like a rat anyway, so I’m happy you don’t bring him here anymore.” She always says things like that to help me get over my heartbreaks.
My stepdad always told us not to put all our time and effort into a guy. He would say, “Guys aren’t everything, and if he wants you to do something on a girlfriend salary,” he huffed, (a baseline standard for what the general public considers to be minimal effort both financially and in effort given), then he is not worth any time or effort. Saying this he looked at me quizzically with a raised eyebrow, “don’t try building something with someone that doesn’t want the relationship, then don’t do it. They are trying to break you; you can’t let them. Standing up he continued, “in the end, it will be your heartbroken and not theirs. Often, they think of it as a game, don’t let them play you.” He warned, “because, more than likely it won’t go well, and you will lose all trust in people.”
1 Corinthians says, in the NKJ version, “Love is patient and kind. Love is important in people’s lives it shows you how to bring joys into the lives of others.” To me no matter the hardships that are experienced, without love, there is no gain. The importance of love and putting it into practice in everything that we do. A person with love does not become envious and does not boast about anything they are also not prideful. In other words, chapter 13 of 1 Corinthians is stating that when you are in love you do not do foolish things.
C.S. Lewis stated, “Love is not affectionate feeling, but a steady wish for the loved persons ultimate good as far as it can be obtained.” This quote makes me believe that people often only want someone’s love when it helps them. Sometimes people often think of love as something that can be obtained, love cannot be obtained like money it should be earned. Love is something that shouldn’t be taken as a joke it is someone trusting you and letting you in their life.
What I would say to my future husband is, “I might act strong, and I might be independent, but I still need some type of reassurance. I am hard to love and for that I apologize. The reason for this is because I got my heart broke at the age of fifteen, I trusted him and he lost my trust. It will take some time for me to say that “I love you”. But I promise that when I say that “I love you” I mean it with all my heart. I don’t go from loving someone to ignoring them. I want that relationship where we trust each other. The relationship where when we argue I’m still the first person you come to. Trust comes before love, to me trust is greater than love it takes time to earn trust but it’s worth it.” Trusting someone with your heart is a dangerous game, it could lead to heartbreak. Most importantly you tend to lose trust in people, because of how much it hurts.
