Trump vs The Queen: who would win?
Trump is in the United Kingdom this week, pressing his tiny hands up against the dutiful Queen. With Wimbledon just ‘round the corner, it got us thinking: who would win in the matchup of all matchups, Trump versus Her Majesty the Queen?
On Friday, you’ll be able to play this historic match for yourself in Stick Tennis.
Here is our detailed head to head analysis of what will undoubtedly be the biggest tennis showdown of all time… from the standpoint of tennis.
Athleticism
Her Maj is a keen horserider, a skilled swordswoman and has maintained a trim figure throughout her life. Trump dines at McDonald’s and plays golf. Clearly no athlete.
Determination
You could say they’re both determined people. Queen Elizabeth is determined to outlive her children, and Trump is determined to make a fool of himself on Twitter.
Experience
Here’s where it gets tricky. Both Queen Elizabeth and Trump have years of experience on their CV. One is an expert at making bad deals; the other one is an expert at staying alive.
Power
Ok, so Trump may be the commander in chief to the biggest military machine the world has known. But the Queen is head of state in 16 countries and is head of the Commonwealth — 53 countries that span 20% of the world’s land mass (admittedly, some of this is uninhabitable outback) and 31% of its population. Now that is real power.
Backhand
Trump has a well-established history of underhandedness, but we are not as familiar with his backhand. The Queen, however, has delivered a few backhanders to politicians in her time.
Age
Tennis is a sport that favours the young. Trump has the edge on Her Maj at a sprightly 72 to her 93 years. But her birthday is honoured multiple times per year around the globe, whereas The Donald celebrates his with Grimace and a Big Mac.
Service
Trump’s service record was hindered by alleged “bone spurs”, while Queen Elizabeth completed a successful stint as an army truck mechanic in 1945.
Considering the attributes we just mentioned, who do you think would win? Trump or The Queen? Play Stick Tennis this Friday to find out!
