20 Things I Have Said “Sorry!” for in the Last 24 Hours
“Ohmygod, I’m so sorry! Excuse me! Pardon! I’ll be out of your way in a minute! Don’t mind me!”
- Sneezing
to: coworkers
why: noise pollution; air pollution
2. Walking past someone
to: mean hipsters
why: inferiority complex
3. Walking past someone
to: my roommate
why: galley kitchen is small
4. Walking past someone
to: my roommate’s houseguest
why: galley kitchen is small
5. Walking past someone
to: lady on the train
why: train was crowded
6. Walking past someone
to: man in the trader joe’s
why: Trader Joe’s was crowded, Trader Joe’s was small
7. Walking past someone
to: person on the sidewalk
why: ????????
8. Making eye contact
to: a stranger
why: raw fear
9. Dropping my eyeliner in the space between the sink and the tub
to: self? tub? eyeliner?
why: it was my fault
10. Forgetting whether the man at Just Salad had already put a fork in my takeout bag
to: the man at Just Salad
why: there was indeed already a fork in my bag, and i did not need a new one
11. Joining a Conversation
to: the people in the conversation
why: I had inflicted my bad self upon them
12. Entering a room
to: the people currently in the room
why: :( :( what if they didn’t want me in the room
13. having no cell service
to: my friend who also didn’t have cell service
why: somehow i caused this, i know it
14. opening a door
to: the door
why: it must hurt to be open so often
15. failing to open a door
to: everyone who witnessed me try and fail to open the door
why: this must be vicariously embarassing for you all to watch someone so weak struggle with something so simple
16. not having change for a 20
to: a cashier
why: i just felt like part of the problem
17. appearing visibly frazzled
to: everyone who had to see me
why: my flyaways must have been awful to look at, please look away!
18. needing a concept to be explained a second time
to: someone at work
why: i am a waste of oxygen with how dumb and bad i am
19. misspeaking
to: new friends
why: why do they even let me out of the house, ever??? omg i am a stupid idiot, please forgive me!!!
20. apologizing
to: everyone!!!!
why: because I’m sorry!!! :(
