Understanding Overconfidence in College Freshmen
By: Brandon Slade
Leaving for college is often the most significant transition in our lives and our first experience of true independence. However, instead of feeling nervous and preparing, many students assume that independence will be easy and the transition will be smooth. This overconfidence can frustrate parents, as their teens are reluctant to heed their advice.
Why are incoming college freshmen so overconfident? There are a few key reasons:
1. They were the “big fish” in high school
Many overconfident college-bound students we see were at the top of the food chain — the oldest, biggest, most mature students in their high schools. They had been leaders among peers, top students, standout athletes, musicians, and artists. Being the “big fish” in that small pond makes even smart kids develop an overinflated view of their capability. Even though they know that college will be an entirely new experience, it is difficult for many seniors in high school to understand they may not be the big fish when they arrive on campus.
I experienced this firsthand as a talented athlete from a small Colorado town. I had worked hard to improve and assumed I would be one of the better athletes on the college football team. However, when I arrived on campus, I was astonished by the skill level of every athlete on the team and that I was not special anymore. My overconfidence quickly became an identity crisis as I realized the true challenge of college football. In the long run, being humbled and learning what hard work actually is was one of the best things that could have happened to me. No amount of advice from my parents, teachers, or mentors in high school could have tempered my overconfidence; I needed to experience it for myself.
2. They don’t know what they don’t know
No matter how a student did in high school in academics, sports, music, etc., endless new skills and responsibilities are required to truly live independently in college. Simple things like doing laundry, buying groceries, managing expenses, or picking up a prescription can be baffling when they’ve never had to do them before. They are confident about handling all of this because they have never needed to do it consistently by themselves.
As a college freshman, I vividly remember feeling miserable in my dorm room. It was my first time sick when I didn’t live at home. It dawned on me that no one was coming to bring me medicine and that I wasn’t going to feel better unless I figured out what medicine I needed and where to get it from. There are endless epiphanies like this in your first year when you realize your parents or caregivers did a lot you didn’t know about.
3. The College Experience is a New Terrain
Many students arrive at college expecting a familiar structure similar to high school, with set schedules for classes and extracurricular activities. This expectation is understandable, as their entire educational experience up to this point has followed a structured pattern.
College requires students to create their own structure and routine. The comforting high school patterns are no longer present. They may have 3 classes on Mondays, 2 on Tuesdays, and no classes on Fridays. This leaves many students confused about how to design their days effectively. Some may thrive with the freedom, and this lack of structure can be disastrous for others.
My roommate once said, “In high school, I was busy from 7 am to 7 pm every day. Between practice, school, friends, and family activities, I never had to schedule anything myself and didn’t have much free time. Understanding how to use my time was confusing.” He initially struggled with the lack of structure. He lost sleep to video games and late nights with friends. His grades plummeted, and he was placed on academic probation. He eventually got serious about creating a routine, found someone to be accountable to, and worked his way back into good graces with his coaches and professors.
4. Independence is Exhausting
Before college, most students lived solely at home, going with the flow, not realizing how much daily effort true independence requires. This lack of awareness contributes to overconfidence, as they underestimate the effort involved in managing their own lives.
When I first started college, I struggled to manage my time and responsibilities. I quickly became overwhelmed when no one reminded me of all the small daily tasks I needed to complete. I didn’t understand why I was so tired all the time. I discovered that independence takes much more mental capacity and effort than anticipated.
Common Mistakes We Hear and How to Help:
In working with hundreds of college students, Untapped has heard about many skills students lacked due to overconfidence and had to panic-learn once at college. Here are some common mistakes and how you can help your student prepare:
Inability to have hard conversations: Many students struggle to approach professors, roommates, or peers about disagreements or to advocate for themselves.
- How to help: Before they leave for college, practice communication skills by role-playing conversations with authority figures. This could be done through the lens of a current teacher, boss, or adult they look up to. Teach them to advocate for themselves clearly, kindly and find solutions collaboratively.
Lack of basic life skills: Many students arrive at college without the ability to perform non-academic tasks like doing laundry, grocery shopping, or scheduling a doctor’s appointment.
- How to help: Involve your student in household chores well before they leave for college. Teach them to do laundry, cook basic meals, and manage their living space. Have them go grocery shopping independently, including making a list and budgeting. Have them schedule medical appointments and understand their health insurance. These skills will help them become more self-sufficient and confident in managing their daily lives.
Ineffective study habits: Due to relying on high school study habits, students may struggle to take notes, know how to study for a cumulative exam, or deeply engage with challenging content.
- How to help: Help your student create a study schedule that includes regular review sessions, practice tests, and office hours. Suggest they join study groups or seek help from tutors to add structure when they are begging to learn challenging new content. These strategies will help them develop strong, adaptable study habits for college-level work.
Building Real Confidence
Real confidence is earned through completing challenging daily tasks and overcoming adversity. natural consequences can be a wonderful teacher. Encourage your student to face challenges head-on and learn from their experiences. When they struggle, remind them that these difficulties are part of the process of building real, lasting confidence.
For many of us, this is the biggest transition in our lives. While they are learning to be independent, listening and being a lifeline of support is also crucial. Remember, their overconfidence is often a mask for anxiety.
Worried about your student’s transition to college? Untapped Learning offers personalized coaching and resources to help your student develop the skills for college success. Contact us today to learn how we can support your student’s journey to independence and confidence.
For More:
Overconfident and Underprepared — Why Too Many Students Drop Out of College
Overconfidence of College Freshman
Becoming Independent: Skills You’ll Need to Survive Your First Year at College
