Facebook’s Internet.org rebrands as Internet.ogre

Zuck comes clean on plan to neuter net neutrality

This story isn’t true. Yet.

Facebook has renamed its controversial Internet access program to more accurately reflect the motives behind the service.

The social media giant’s effort to woo new users in developing nations with a free-to-access, but restricted “walled garden” of Internet content was originally dubbed Internet.org — a name critics complained was a ploy to cloak a profit-driven enterprise in the robes of an altruistic organisation.

After encountering robust opposition to it’s web access scheme— promoted under the name “Free Basics” in India and elsewhere— Facebook has announced it will ditch the Internet.org brand and adopt Internet.ogre as the name of its connectivity initiative.

“Switching to .ogre is a fresh start, it’s a do-over” said a Facebook executive, who asked not to be named, or renamed. “We got it wrong — and we’re owning that, we’re totally owning it — but now we’re doing a complete one-eighty and being ruthlessly transparent.”

According to the executive, Facebook almost renamed the service I Can’t Believe It’s Not Internet! but instead opted to “hack” the original brand by simply changing a couple of letters.

As part of their new ruthless — some would say reckless — transparency, the Internet.ogre marketers (The Ogres, as they call themselves) have taken the project’s internal mission statement and adopted it as their new public slogan: “Neutering net neutrality.”

A t-shirt featuring the brazen tagline is already for sale on BrazenSwag:

** Click to buy the shirt **

The new commitment to openness extends to sharing the a-ha moment behind the whole project.

“A couple of years ago a few of us were sitting around spitballing,” the executive recalled. “And there’s the sign on the wall, the Facebook motto: Move Fast and Break Things.”

“Anyway, Zuck is staring up at this sign, real quiet like,” he said. “Then suddenly he jumps up all excited and goes: Let’s see if we can break the whole Internet!”

“And we’re all like, fuck yeah. Fuck YEAH! And a couple of pizzas later Internet.org was born.”

** Click to buy the shirt **

NOTE: The little-known and rarely used .ogre top level domain was introduced several years ago by ICANN, the Internet naming authority, after heavy lobbying from Disney. But when the Shrek movies waned in popularity so did the .ogre TLD.

And again, in case you missed it the first time:

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