A Storm is Coming
Earlier this week, I met with an entrepreneur here in Nashville who is amid some exciting growth in the arc of her company. Growing a business can be tough all on its own, but she has the added complexity of doing it without her partner, who recently exited the company. She’s on her own for the first time since they started this business. But her ideas on building culture are spot-on; her vision of gathering resources to accomplish her goal is clear. I’m not 100% sure what she was hoping to hear from me or the type of advice she was expecting, but after hearing her out and thinking about our experience at Stoked, here’s where I ended up.
Take great care of yourself by building habits or rituals that will help you personally weather the inevitable storm that is coming.
It’s been my observation over the years that founders have a particularly challenging time when business is either terrible (obviously) or when it’s going gangbusters (not as obvious). It seems we don’t respond particularly well to extremes. The middle of the road seems to be where we’re most comfortable, but as you may know, that’s not where growth occurs.
To quote the founders of Alcoholics Anonymous, “… how shall we come to terms with seeming failure or success? Can we now accept and adjust to either without despair or pride? “
I’ve seen, both in myself and others, a tendency to lose clarity when things are fantastic. I get lost in the momentum. I get sucked up into the excitement, and I am no longer grounded. I can lose track of what’s most important to me. And why wouldn’t I? It’s why we start businesses in the first place, right? To crush it? To hit it big. Land the big client or knock it out of the park on a project! I should relish the moment and just keep reading my press! Right?
Conversely, when things go sideways, I tend to lose perspective. I develop a mindset of scarcity and then drop into fear-based decision making, and I can’t think or act to good purpose. I become myopically focused on patching the metaphorical hole in the boat, and I’m not paying attention to where the boat is headed. Obviously, this can be treacherous.
So how can we build habits that keep us sane during these times of tragedy or success?
For several years now, I’ve been relying on meditation, eating clean (or at least avoiding foods that make me feel like shit), exercise, daily journaling, and frequent periods of solitude to keep me sane. I practice these things to minimize brain fog, relieve physical dis-ease and stress, and to create space for processing and coming up with new ideas.
Don’t get me wrong…I would rather eat cheeseburgers and milkshakes for every meal. I’d rather sleep whenever I want and binge on Netflix. My phone is begging me to stare at Instagram for hours at a time, but I have learned enough about myself to know that all of those things will lead to me feeling terrible, physically, emotionally, and creatively. This is not a lesson I learned once either. It seems like I’ve had to be hit over the head with these learnings hundreds of times before I was able to start experimenting with some habits that might provide some durability in my mental and emotional states.
Your habits or routines don’t need to look like mine, but I do believe that anyone can benefit from rituals or systems that will provide stability during extreme times.
And there are thousands of books out there that explain the virtues and methods for building some of these great habits.
The list goes on. But I’m not here to give you the “Top 5 habits that will make your life bitchin!” That’s what the rest of Medium is for.
I am just here to report that having healthy habits has enabled me to maintain consistency in my life for several years….even in the face of the kind of tragedy that is just part of being human. I’ve lost my best friend to cancer. My wife has been through cancer not once, but twice. I’ve lost three dogs in the past ten years. Our company almost went belly up in 2018. Some shit has gone down, and without my little daily routines, I feel like I would’ve come wholly unmoored.
My experience with these practices is that the return is greater than the investment. And I’m not here to sell you on the habits that I employ. Feel free to borrow them if you wish, but I’m more interested in persuading you to have ANY healthy, daily practices in your life.
A couple of notes though:
1) Not all healthy habits have to suck and be boring. Those are not mandatory characteristics of good habits. Choose habits that you can test for a week. If you don’t get results that work; quit and try on something else.
2) Also, try on one habit at a time. If you adopt meditation, healthy eating, and exercise all in the same week, you might die of boredom.
Look, none of what I’m saying is new. It’s thousands of years old. But it’s still around for a reason. You can either learn how to deal with the realities of owning a business, or you will suffer unnecessarily. And in my opinion, there’s enough mandatory suffering. Why opt for more?
Both tough times and successes will eventually come. Both of these extremes can shake your foundation and make you lose your footing. Being rooted in daily practice can help you ride out those phases of life, leaving you sitting pretty for whatever comes next.
At Stoked, we have a value that we believe is important. It’s “Me, Us, and Them.” This means that we have to take care of ourselves first. Then we can take care of each other. Then, if we’ve done those things well, we’ll take amazing care of our clients.
I’m not sure if my entrepreneur friend took my suggestion to heart. It may not have been what she was looking for. Maybe she wanted to hear about taking on investors or best hiring practices. But all those things can be found in books and by a quick Google search. If you’re looking to not lose your self orlose your life just because you started a business, this is for you.
