The Seven Story Strategy

My friend called me at 3am last week, asking me to talk him down from what was obviously a bad idea. It was, of course, about a girl. Nothing too out of the ordinary – an office party, drinks, a connection and an immediate crush. But now he wanted to spill his guts on an email to her at 3am. When is that a good idea?

Then he sent me the email.

Jess, sorry we never got to finish our conversation last night. The truth is, my brother’s been going through some serious stuff lately, so the story I’d started to tell you is in no way fun, endearing or amusing. I owe you one story about that, and since it’s a little heavy I’ll balance it out with one of my seven all-time best stories. Ladies’ Choice:

1) Werewolf Toilet Paper
2) A Three-Way Tie for Best Valentines Day Ever
3) Hufflepuff Envy
4) My Summer with the Rats of NIMH
5) The Kid Who Peed His Shirt
6) The Dumbest Thing I Did in Rockville, MD
7) The Cosmic Hamburger

He called it the Seven Story Strategy. The master stroke, he said, was refusing to tell her more than one story on their first date. The seven stories, he insisted, had to be spaced out evenly throughout their relationship. He’d find the right time to tell her each, and then cross it off the list.

Our seven best anecdotes. The stories we carry that could send a room into fits of laughter or tears. Why do we carry them in our hearts and not in our back pockets?

Seven anecdotes seems like an easy enough task. Once you’ve narrowed them down they’d be easy enough to memorize. It’s coming up with them that’s the real trick. Since reading his email I’ve spent the past three days jotting down every decent life story I could summon up, and I know I’m not even close. Needless to say, I couldn’t whip them out spontaneously. When I asked my friend, he said the same – it took him days to remember and whittle down his best anecdotes to his top seven, and weeks later he’s sure he left plenty out.

So, start that list. Whittle it down. Practice telling each one. Get the flow right. The comedic timing. The embellishments. We all know the power of good stories. They start wars. They ignite relationships. Besides, what better start to a date, presentation or wedding speech than The Werewolf Toilet Paper Story?