6. Evil vs stupid
A fun thing to do when you are in a room packed with billionaires (and you are not one) is to try to differentiate evil from stupid. Those who would prefer if human rights weren’t a thing, from those who think their poop could make them money.
It is one of the hardest things in life. Humans like to see evil everywhere as if this impulsivity would save us from it. But it doesn’t. Quite the contrary, actually. In a boy who cries wolf type of way, seeing evil everywhere makes us forget how to recognize it. It’s a focus vs background thing.
Conveniently, for evil, stupidity is on the rise. And they are so similar. Think about it. Stupidity has become the perfect background for evil to blend in — it’s like Find Waldo, but unfortunately, without the stripes.
Why am I telling you this? Well, I get bored at these events. The same type of people, the same type of food. It doesn’t take many of my neurons to gently slide trays in the face of gentle people. So I like to play this game: find the evil among the stupid. Would you like to play? It’s quite simple. We eavesdrop on their conversations as we present them with food and drinks; we try to get a sense of what type they are. Later, we reconvene here and present our arguments. Who wins? Will see.
Ready? Here we go.
Let’s start easy. Let’s go to that group of financial bros first. Don’t jump to conclusions!
And then I told her if I can’t bench you, I can’t date you.
But you can fuck her!
Hey, chasing a whale changes you.
Homogeneous laughter. One stays silent, watching the room.
Simons, you seem distracted. I don’t want to crush your spirit, but not many women come to these things and the ones who do…
Collective chill down their spine.
No, no. I know. I’ve heard Congressman Anderson may be coming, and I would love to shake his hand.
Oh yeah. He always comes to these things. You’ll get your chance.
Next, that tech founder with investors and groupies.
Yes, layoffs were a necessary sacrifice.
The cost of doing business.
I can’t believe they have the nerve to sue you. You have truly revolutionized the industry. Those folks should be honored and thankful to have had the chance to work for you.
Thank you. I understand they are upset. We try to do our best, but I guess it is their right to ask for more.
No! If they think they deserve more, they should go ahead and start their own company. I would like to see them try.
Collective laughter. A nervous smile from the tech founder.
I just find your story so fascinating. Your folks came from China?
Singapore.
Is that in China?
Terrible that they had to escape communism. These young folks are preaching wokeness without understanding the communist agenda behind it. It’s a terrible threat to our way of life.
It’s the damn school system. Instead of fixing the buildings and teaching them useful trades, they indoctrinate them. Terrible thing.
Scary thing. That’s why we homeschooled.
Yes, of course. It is the only way.
Some privates are ok.
I just find them so elitist. And you just know all faculty are closeted democrats. Where did you go to school?
I went to a public school in Singapore.
And you became a tech founder. Fascinating. I wonder why we can’t have that.
Hey kid! Come here! I want a drink.
Of course, sir. I have Chardonnay, Merlot, or Whisky.
What do you think?
Whisky.
There you go! I think I have seen you before.
Probably sir. I’ve worked for this catering company for two years now.
Two years? And you are still a server? Hm.
Is there anything else I can offer you, sir?
I suppose not. But maybe… If you worked this event before… do you know Anderson? Have you seen him?
I do know him. I haven’t seen him.
When you see him, tell him to come and see me.
And who should I say is looking for him?
Just tell him I’m sitting here. Couch by the fire. He will know.
Of course sir.
Uff, that guy is creepy. Ok, where were we? Oh yeah, over there, it seems like Simons has found Anderson.
It’s wonderful to meet you finally, sir.
Likewise kid. Likewise.
I so admire what you did in that deposition. You annihilated that liberal slut.
Easy boy. I was just doing my job and asking questions.
No, no, it was brilliant. You humiliated her. You read her for what she is. A frigid liberal slut who should do us all a favor and kill herself.
Lower your voice, son. We don’t want to scare the help. Is there anything you wanted to ask me… sorry I didn’t catch your name.
Simons, sir. I work at Goldman Sachs. I was there when you went and gave your speech last summer. Brilliant sir.
I’m glad you liked it, Simons.
Oh yeah! I would love to be able to do what you do.
Give speeches?
Yeah, and have the power to tell stupid dikes that someone should fuck them until the nonsense leaves their brains.
Excuse me, Senator Anderson, but a gentleman is waiting for you sitting by the fire.
Oh yes. Thank you, dear. Sorry, son, but I have some business to attend to.
How dare you interrupt my conversation with the Senator?
Just serving drinks and passing messages.
As you should.
What the night was missing! Me having to save a Republican from a beast of his own creation. The irony! How are we doing? Do you know yet? Evil vs stupid! Remember, you need to tell me what you think at the end of our round.
Oh, here comes the hostess. Isn’t she glamorous? I hate these events, but I love her. Everything she does is always perfect and elegant. The attendees are hell, but the centerpieces are divine.
Hi ladies. I hope you are having an ok time.
Yes, yes. So far, so good.
Good. Is everyone here already?
Most of the usuals. That includes Senator Anderson and the gentleman by the fire.
Good.
May I ask who he is?
Someone with a lot of money and the right ideas. Please make sure those two have everything they need. I want them comfortable and relaxed, especially Senator Anderson.
Yes, ma’am.
And there she goes. Did you see how perfectly the dress draped her body? It’s not easy to look that well and natural after 50. I would love to know her secrets, not that I could afford them. She is always so nice to me. I heard she was also a waiter when she was my age. I wonder if she would be interested in being my mentor. Maybe I’ll ask her after tonight.
But you heard her, we need to cater to those two. Let’s refill their drinks and leave them with a tray of food.
Bo fucking hoo. Who cares?
Some of the data we are getting… it’s pretty disturbing. I don’t know if we can keep it secret much longer.
My journalist won’t ask.
I know that. But there’s this independent newspaper in Pennsylvania…
What’s the name?
They are sneaky. They are getting to my staff.
What’s the name?
The independent eagle.
How poetic! No worry, I’ll buy it tomorrow. That’s the end of that problem. Now, can we have a deal?
But don’t you care about… your grandkids?
No.
No? I’m telling you. This is coming to a point that it will affect us all. In two years, no money will be able to save us.
Well, that’s the difference between you and me, Bob. You only think about this plane, while I know money is universal.
What the fuck do you mean?
Mars! We are going to Mars, Bob! You, me, the wives, the kids, the idiotic sons-in-law, and the disappointing grandkids. We have it all set up. The station, ships, and cryogenics will be ready to take us in two years.
Really? All of us?
All of us, yes. All of them, no. And we wouldn’t want that either.
No, I guess not. But you are talking about leaving millions behind.
Billions really. Don’t get sentimental now. We knew this was coming eventually. We can’t lose focus or nerve now. It’s too late in the game, anyway. You have seen the data! We need to continue scratching and taking as much resources as we can. We will need them on Mars.
Maybe the Democrat’s free birth control bill is a good thing, then. There is no point in having more people suffering.
Oh no. They can’t see it coming. We need them distracted, exhausted, and disengaged out of their minds. Let them fight for a 2 dollar pill, those cheap bastards. That way, they won’t know what’s coming.
Don’t worry. I have heard them talk about Mars for years now. Just two old men and their pipe dreams. Egos.
Let’s finish our round with those two glammed-up women.
I just know that I feel way more satisfied at home, raising my family and following my husband’s lead. The decision was simple for me. I was so stressed out at my job. I have been saving most of my income for years. My previous job gave me an excellent retirement package, so when John told me God had spoken to him and shown him that his vocation was to bring joy to our community by creating a classic car museum, of course, I gave him all that I had to support his vision. I know nothing about cars, nor do I care much for them if I’m honest, but he is so happy.
And you have how many kids?
Three. Yes, Aimee, Anette, and Astrid. We are hoping to get a boy next!
Oh, you want another child?
Oh yes! Our family wouldn’t be complete without a boy. I love my girls, but a boy would be extra special. He could change the world.
Well, I imagine they keep you pretty busy. You are homeschooling, right?
Yes, yes, of course. I would not be able to sleep thinking about someone teaching my girls that they can become boys. Could you imagine that? It’s a terrible thing. That’s why I’m part of the school board. We are fighting that feminist agenda; if I may say so, we are winning. Thankfully, feminists are no fun. Have you seen their overaction to the Supreme Court ruling? As if there was someone who would want to fuck them. They are just bitter.
Ok, so… do you know? Have you found the difference between evil and stupid? It’s hard, isn’t it?
Sometimes, I think I can recognize it in what angers me the most. That makes sense, right? We are supposed to get very angry at the sight of evil. But then I remember… the devil is in the details, so maybe it’s more subtle. These types of rooms also make it harder. Privilege, when you are a scrappy server, how can I not think privilege is evil?
Other times, I think evil is in the traitors. You know, the people who leave their kind behind, the ones who let the system use them as long as they can get ahead of their peers. They may perceive themselves as overachievers, masterminds who trick the odds only with merit. But they are too narcissistic to realize that the system is playing them. The house always wins.
And that leaves us with stupid. Stupid makes me angry as well. The privilege of being stupid makes me furious. Because it is a privilege to remain stupid in the presence of evil. I just want to shake people into sense, you know? But you saw them. They don’t see us. They don’t even try to censor themselves around us. That’s the ultimate disrespect.
And to be honest, I’m tired. The job doesn’t tire me, but needing it does. I’m exhausted from needing this job. So I made this silly game. I want to be able to laugh at them. Isn’t that supposed to be my privilege?
But hey, how are you feeling?
