I Practice Self Efficacy

Justcallmejillybean
Nov 14 · 6 min read

How To Deal Logically With A Chronic Ailment. The Clean Orbit.

Photo by Giulia Bertelli on Unsplash

Dealing with a chronic ailment meant dealing with modifications to my life. Physical problems do arise, and as always, taking medications > to then only sometimes have to navigate the side effects, handling the out-of-nowhere exhaustion, and just realizing you might not be adept at working or exerting like you used to. I have come to the notion that it is, what it is, and I cannot get anxious over what is out of my control. I need a clean orbit.
However, I will profess it can be the emotive stuff. There is guilt over missing out on daily things. Like if it’s a beautiful day, and I can’t go out even in nature, as today, for instance, the heating pad was glued to me. There is also the non understanding of people in your orbit, not merely ( and to no one’s fault ) to how shitty you really feel. Also, when angst is created to think > when I’ll jump right back into feeling better. It’s all a guessing game.
So I have come to terms that somedays this is how I feel. Again, it is out of my control. So then I must find the humor or silver lining to what could bring me joy to today. So I learned to practice self-efficacy. It has changed how I view me as a whole.
A self-efficacy definition states, “a person’s attitudes, abilities, and cognitive skills comprise what is known as the self-system. This system plays a major role in how we perceive situations and how we behave in response to different situations. Self-efficacy is an essential part of this self-system.”
Somedays, I have to come to terms and know when I have been in a funk for too long. I’ve learned, and I still am studying to know anxiety & depression are so passable when you have an incurable disease, and that it is a rollercoaster of life. But if the sadness hangs around too long, I must do something to help myself.
A positive and humorous mind is so critical in moving forward! It changed how I deal with the emotions. I feel more emotionally sound to what I can handle. Through all the physical pain and mental strain, I forgot how much I liked to laugh and make others laugh with a show, like when I was a child. It has saved me significantly.
Don’t be ashamed that you need specialized upkeep. Get a psychotherapist or join support groups; it will help you be the best version of you. I know first hand that sadness and anxiety are so entangled with chronic pain > that you should not let this go unsupported. You need to work it out in your mind as well. I finally understood the mind, body, and soul. I had to learn that my brain and soul have to-be-sorted as well, so this way, I can keep moving forward.
I give myself things to look forward too. I suffered guilt for years, but now I try my best, whenever I know I sense I am coming out of the downside of living this way, I find something adventurous, and it makes me wonder into beautiful thoughts. I keep my circle small, as I only want to surround myself with people in person who lift me, not bring me down. So I have cleaned my orbit. If I miss something, and so forth, > I can get anxiety from all this. I’m acquiring to consent to my restrictions but not presume failure. It’s necessary to partake in things to look onward, so while you may not feel great right now, if you remember to at least try your hardest to take care of your mind, it will pay off so you can get to your goal of what you were looking forward to. I need something to think about and plan while in the trenches of not feeling well. It makes me happy.
If I feel shelved, I try my hardest these days to find a way to make it positive. After years of being shelved, I’ve realized that this is a part of my life. If I go out, I’m happy, and depending on what I did, I now prepare myself mentally for the payback that could come two days later. Then instead of wallowing in the pain, I make sure I do something positive at home, like art, guitar, writing, reading, or snuggling with my cats. Things that make me feel good about who I am, and it makes me know I have found my own safe home within myself.
I give myself a small window to wallow. Sometimes if it is horrible, I set a timer on my phone for thirty minutes, so throughout that time, I’m permitted to direct any feeling(s) I feel at that moment. When the timer goes off, I say my peace and hand them over to whatever it is out there in our universe. Then, I start planning for what I have to at least accomplish for that day. NOT EASY, took a lot, but it’s helped me more then I can explain. I am me, and I am the only one that can press on. I found I can be own muse.
For me, I try to use social platforms in a way that’s positive and supportive to myself. I have no shame in who I am anymore. I am out of hiding. I am not going to let myself become this curated gong of smiles and perfection. No one is perfect, and that stigma attached to social media can cause serious mental problems in some people.
So I chose to be real. If I find something funny, I will share cause maybe it will make someone else laugh for the first time that day. Perhaps they won’t, but at least I tried. Laughter, as corny as it sounds, is the best medicine. I think I’m funny, I really, really, do. The things that roll off me are ridiculous, and I can’t love myself if I can’t make fun of myself. It makes me smile more often then I used too. The humor has been a lifesaver.“ TOOK a long time to come.”
I try to obtain one goal for each day. It can range from how my every day goes. There is the workweek, and I must focus on putting in the staff-hours to continue to be successful. If it is my days off and I don’t feel straight, I must do a straightforward thing, like wiping my kitchen counter. In turn, at the close of the day, I have to think what was the one thing or moment of the day that made me smile or laugh. How I am now living in the present has been a beautiful thing — just something to set as a goal when you feel crappy. Then I do not think I had a bad day. It procured a lot of training to get here.
I even welcome that the invincible aspects of my pain sometimes won’t permit people to understand or feel what I am going through. I don’t get empathy from people. And I don’t want it. I will never hold it against a beautiful soul. Because there are people in your life that have no perspective on what you are dealing with but guess what, it’s not their fault!
At the end of my day, no matter happy or sad, I remember that the physical play a toll on the mental, and it is okay to say no when you are in a flare or feel the anxiety. The characteristics of all of what this does to me will never define how I am. There is only one me, so I had to remember to be kind. #tookalongtimetocome …


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Justcallmejillybean

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Music biz executive creating a soundtrack one day at a time. Chronic illness warrior. cats-writing-music-nature- concerts-travel-love-life-learning-humor-real-

Stories Publi

Creative writing, fiction, poetry and non-fiction publication. We believe that everyone has a story to tell!